Just Say No To TV Shows

A parent in Connecticut recently asked, “Do you think letting children watch television destroys their innocence? Does it cause them to as I’ve heard some experts say grow up too fast?”

Indeed, the content of certain television programs and TV movies is certainly inappropriate for children. Unfortunately, because most of the programs in question are on during prime time, the typical American child witnesses thousands of depictions of sex and violence before adolescence.

Is there evidence to the effect that this has corrupted our children? As prime-time programs have become more and more saturated with sex and violence (since 1965), the teen pregnancy rate has tripled, the teen violent crime rate has tripled, the teen abortion rate has tripled. At a personal level, I am regularly shocked by children younger than 10 who seem to know more about sex than I did at age 14. And these aren’t just kids from “the wrong side of town.” They’re from all sides of town.

So yes, the innocence of America’s children has been undermined, and yes, I have to believe that television has played a significant role.

But the question now becomes, “Where are parents when children are watching the trash in question?” Choose one of the following answers: a) They’re in the same room, also watching, b) They’re aware of what their children are watching, but they’re in another room, c) They’ve left the house for a time, knowing full well the kids are going to watch television in their absence.

Any choice is, of course, incriminating. My point is that regardless of the degree of culpability certain television networks must accept for the “end of childhood” in America, parents must accept a greater degree. But will they?

Not likely. American parents have known for years that children are watching portrayal after portrayal of sex and violence in television, but few have done anything about it. The issue is limits, and there is ample evidence that post-‘60s parents are generally remiss when it comes to limits of any sort.

The overwhelming majority of parents separate into two classes: Those who set no limits to speak of (not found reading this column), and those who give lip service to limits but fool around when it comes to enforcing them (often found reading this column).

The latter have good intentions but flimsy spines. They avoid confrontation; they’d rather look the other way than be unpopular with their kids; they say “no” and then change their minds when their children act like children; they talk a lot about the need for tough discipline but don’t walk their talk; and the list goes on. The result is that the immaturity of today’s children is being extended indefinitely - psychological toddlers, I call them.

A child whose innocence has been destroyed is bad enough. So is a child whose immaturity has been indefinitely extended. Combine the two, and you’ve got a time bomb waiting to explode. Take millions of such teenage time-bombs and you have a culture on the edge of self-destruction.

The solution is not the V-chip to block improper TV programming, or character-education programs in the schools, or tougher penalties for juvenile offenders, or the repeal of no-fault divorce laws, or raising the driving age, or similar “finger in the dike” approaches to the growing crisis that is America’s youth (especially male youth).

The solution is parents who assume their responsibilities where television is concerned, who carry out effective character education in the home, who impose tough penalties for disobedience and other misbehavior, who commit themselves to the hard work of staying married, who don’t let their children get driver’s licenses at the ridiculously early age of 16, who say “no” to their children at least four times as often as they say “yes,” who stop caring what their children think of them, who stop caring what the neighbors think of their child-rearing.

In short, the solution is parents who are willing to stop running bomb factories in their homes and become parents in the true sense of the term - keepers of their children’s innocence and promoters of their children’s maturity.