Fest Success Starts With Moniker Hoopfest Teams Take On Some Wild And Wacky Names

Some of the most creative moves at Spokane’s Hoopfest occur before the teams take the courts. It’s when they pick their team names.

With some 4,500 teams in Hoopfest, common themes abound.

For example, there are 31 varieties of “Air” - including “Air Er,” “Air Impaired,” “Air Jordan” (of course), “Airheads,” and “Airrrrballll.”

Since Hoopfest allows three players and four team members, those numbers are in lots of names.

Some 88 teams use “three,” including “Three Men and a Mummy,” “Three Milks and a Mocha,” and “Three Blind Mice.”

There are 95 variations of “four,” with teams like “Four Superdolls,” “Four Unemployed Teachers,” “Four Peas in a Pod,” and “Four Heads in a Dufflebag.”

Hoopfest director Rick Steltenpohl said new trends in this year’s names include more references to the new WNBA (example: “WNBA Wanta Be’s”) and stars in the movie “Space Jam.”

“We’re pretty liberal in allowing names,” Steltenpohl said. “We don’t allow anything obscene or offensive, but we don’t ask teams to change their name unless they are definitely over the edge.”

Steltenpohl said Hoopfest staff this year brought “about a dozen” team names to his attention for modification.

The “World Champion Bulls” are in this year’s lineup, as are several “Sonic” and “Jazz” teams and 21 versions of the “Tarheels.”

Some team names may reflect player personas. For the genteel there are the “Altar Boys,” and “Church Going Fellas.” For the not so genteel: “Bad to the Bone,” “Bashers,” “Crazy Chainsaw Nuns” and “Crushers.”

Other categories of team names emerge:

Tongue-twisting-run-on-names: “Alienzwithattudez,” “Getitupandputitin,” “Highhopelowerthehoop,” and “Morehumanthanhuman.”

Food group: “Beef Jerkee,” “Burnt Bananas,” “Burgled Ednaburgers,” “Carmels,” “Celery Boys,” “Choke Sandwich,” “Cheese Heads,” “Cookies N Cream,” “Cool Whip,” “Gummy Bears,” “Is That Cabbage George?” “Jelly Donuts,” “Mr. Pork,” “Mr. Salty,” “Pillsbury Dough Boys,” “Spam on Rye,” and “The Bionic Doughnuts.”

Food and Beverage League: “Barely Sober,” “Complete Bartenders,” “Drinking Club,” “Fuzzynavals,” “Samuel Adams Loggers,” and “Will Play for Beer.”

Medical division: “Aches and Pains,” “Aneurysm,” “Ibuprofen,” “Playing with Pain,” “Rush Me Oxygen,” and “Subject to Blackout.”

Wrong sport division: “Baseball is Life,” “Golf on Sunday,” and “Should Be Golfing.”

Wild kingdom: “Gorillas in the Mist,” “Dolly Varden,” “Dog Pound,” “Fat Chihauhuas,” “Rubber Duckies,” “Runnin Elephants,” “Felling Froggy,” “Shark Bait,” “Slimey Slugs,” “Spitting Llamas,” and “Worms.

“Lost World” category: “Dinosaur Dynasty,” nine versions of “Dragons,” and 11 versions of “Raptors.”

And some miscellaneous entries: “Anonymous,” “Basketcases,” “Bound by Gravity and Troy,” “Bye Bye,” “C Ya,” “Death by Mbutu,” “Defense Rests,” “Do It for Mama,” “Eenie, Meenie, Minie and Mo,” “Fading Jumpers,” “Hippy Chicks,” “Incoherent Dribblers,” and “Lapwai Sweatyheads,”

And one entry warms the heart (if he has one) of a local newspaper columnist - “Doug Clark’s a Moron.”

, DataTimes MEMO: This sidebar appeared with the story: ONLINE Hoopie contest: Browse the names of the 4,500 Hoopfest teams on The Spokesman-Review’s online service, Virtually Northwest, and vote for your favorite in the second annual Hoopie contest. To access, click on: http://www.VirtuallyNW.com