The Slice The Truth Is, Vacationing By Car Drove Us Crazy

It’s common at this time of year to hear friends and co-workers fondly recall family vacation car trips.

But because many people edit their childhood recollections, it’s natural to hear some of these stories and find yourself thinking, “Was mine the only family in America that didn’t act like ‘The Brady Bunch’ when driving across the country?”

The answer, of course, is “No.”

So in the interest of promoting summer-memories reality, here are a few highlights some tend to forget.

1. Your parents screaming at one another for 40 miles and then driving in seething silence for another hour.

2. Hearing your dad say “You’ll just have to hold it.”

3. That look your little brother got when he was about to throw up.

Six thoughts that occur sooner or later to 50 percent of all teenagers with summer jobs:

1. “I’m never speaking to my dad again. What was he thinking when he got me this job?”

2. “I can’t believe how much gets taken out of my check. It’s unfair.”

3. “Some of these people have been working here for like five years. I wonder if they realize that their lives are over?”

4. “Walter Neff’s aunt got him that great job at Hewlett-Packard and I’m stuck here. My summer is ruined.”

5. “Yeah, that’s me, babe. Working class hero. Check it out.”

6. “I’m not getting paid enough.”

You’re Spokane material if you:

1. Enjoy watching trains.

2. Think that now that you’re here, the party can begin.

3. Sort of get a kick out of people who are angry all the time.

4. Aren’t intimidated by confusion.

We reserve the right to not take seriously anyone who:

1. Pretends to be objective.

2. Wears a miniskirt to the office.

3. Kicks furniture after his team blows a lead.

4. Complains about long meetings but then, in meetings, won’t shut up.

5. Returns from an extended vacation with much larger breasts.

6. Refers to a dessert as “Spokalicious.”

7. Thinks anyone wants to hear about his facial hair.

8. Fails to understand the distinction between “people who do” and “people who watch.”

9. Devotes a great deal of energy to being cool.

10. Watches a lot of TV and still complains about not having enough time to get things done.

Today’s Slice question: Who has the most unnecessarily loud speaking voice at your workplace?

, DataTimes MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. It’s impossible to handle those insertthe-straw juice cartons without squirting droplets onto your clothes.