You Must Not Blame Yourself

Dear Nancy: During a nap 15 years ago, I had this dream and it’s haunted me ever since.

Patty, an old family friend, telephones and says to get my family together and come to the hospital. My father has been in a tragic car accident and died instantly. I wake up in a panic.

I immediately told my husband and father-in-law of the dream. Within a minute the telephone rang and it was our friend, Patty, whom I hadn’t seen in 17 years. She was calling from the hospital with the news my father had been killed in a car accident. Each moment of that conversation was exactly like my dream.

Every day I blame myself and yet I wonder, “How could my father’s death be my fault?” I have many sleepless nights and I’m afraid to dream because so many have come true. Sometimes I feel like I am going crazy torturing myself over this. - Cheryle

Dear Cheryle: This sounds like a precognitive dream which forewarn us of upcoming events, positive or negative, and are far more common than most people realize.

If we pay attention to our dreams on a regular basis, we will find occurrences of precognition. Some people have the innate talent and ability to tap into this field more often than others. This can be a very difficult ability to live with, especially if you tend to blame yourself for the actual events.

During sleep, our rational and defensive minds relax, which allows information from outside sources to enter. Precognitive dreams are usually more vivid and seem more “real” than normal dreams. A certain clarity is usually present that we can learn to recognize over time. These dreams are often accompanied by a “gut feeling” that has to do with actual events.

Cheryle, you must not blame yourself or feel responsible for the death of your father. Precognitive dreams do not cause events to happen. That is a terrible burden to put on yourself and it’s unnecessary and wrong.

Dream researchers and psychologists agree people who are emotionally linked to each other are more likely to have these telepathic or psychic dreams about one another. Often a person will dream of their loved one in danger or feel a connection with their pain on an emotional or physical level. When these dreams happen beforehand, we have time to warn our loved ones. Too often, though, the dream takes place as the event is happening and we have to accept the circumstances as they have unfolded.

My hope for you, Cheryle, is to find the assurance and knowing inside of you that you did not cause your father’s death. It would be a great mistake and disservice to yourself to carry that burden all your life. I would suggest talking with a counselor, minister or a trusted, wise friend to help you through this issue.

Have you had a precognitive or telepathic dream you would like to share? I would like to hear your experience.

This column is intended as entertainment. But psychologists who work with clients’ dreams say that dreams can hold a tremendous amount of significance; a particularly disturbing or repetitive dream may indicate the need to see a therapist.

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