Celebrity Splits Divorce Can Be Largely Private, But When A Hollywood Couple Is Involved, We All Hear About It

It begins with “I do” and devolves into “I’ve had it.” Finally, it’s over, lives are shattered, and the kids intone, “Daddy doesn’t live here anymore.”

Millions divorce each year for a variety of reasons, usually boiled down to two words on legal documents: “irreconcilable differences.” Most splits go unnoticed - but not when there’s a celebrity involved.

Overseas, there have been the tawdry breakups of Britain’s Prince Charles and Princess Diana, Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson, and Monaco’s Princess Stephanie and Daniel Ducruet.

But Hollywood’s royalty have been there, too, led by Elizabeth Taylor, with eight marriages. Other big-time marriage addicts: Mickey Rooney and Lana Turner, who each walked down the aisle eight times.

Marriage and love are never out of fashion in Hollywood.

“Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity,” George Bernard Shaw wrote. Lord Byron’s take on the subject was, “All comedies are ended by a marriage.”

And when Hollywood marriages end, they make headlines. The tabloids tattled in detail about the splits of Lisa Marie Presley and Michael Jackson, Antonio Banderas and Ana Arana, Emilio Estevez and Paula Abdul, and Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett. Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson married and divorced each other twice, with the second divorce coming last year. Griffith then married Banderas.

But unlike the rest of us (“You take the house,” “I want the dog,” “We’ll share the kids”), celebrity couplings often don’t just end with bitterness and broken hearts.

“Now it’s corporations splitting up, not just people. A divorce lawyer is like an orchestra leader in front of corporate professionals. It’s no longer Clarence Darrow with a dirty vest,” said celebrity divorce attorney Raoul Felder.

Felder represented Robin Givens in her divorce from Mike Tyson and, most recently, Larry Fortensky in his divorce battle with Taylor.

The Superior Court divorce petition form cited “irreconcilable differences” for the Taylor-Fortensky split.

“You only see the teeny top of the iceberg with that form,” said Felder, who wouldn’t disclose financial details about the settlement because of a gag order.

Most celebrities insist on no-disclosure orders. “The battles are fought in private,” he said.

And what’s it like during those negotiations?

“Things have gotten very complicated. They have set up corporations for tax purposes, and they are fighting a public relations war for support,” Felder said. “When you start talking about these things, you start hitting the cash-register button.”

In the recent movie, “The First Wives Club,” three dumped wives played by Goldie Hawn, Diane Keaton and Bette Midler are pitted against their philandering husbands. In revenge, they hatch a plan to separate the wealthy husbands from their money.

Celebrity unions often suffer because of basic Hollywood truisms.

“You have a marriage of egos. It’s who’s getting top billing and who’s getting better press,” Felder said. “These are very egocentric people, often with limited intelligence.”

A Globe tabloid headline recently blared: “Liz keeps goldmine - Larry gets shaft!”

Fortensky signed a prenuptial agreement that gave him nothing if the marriage failed, but when the couple separated five years later, he reportedly claimed he had signed the prenuptial without legal counsel.

The former construction worker wanted $6 million, his share of her perfume endorsement earnings, but Taylor’s lawyers proved the money wasn’t community property because she had signed the perfume deals before the marriage.

If this legal squabbling is done behind closed doors with gag orders, how does it become mainstream fodder?

“We’re in an information age. Information filters out, there’s the Internet and a whole cottage industry now based on reporting this stuff,” Felder said.

To his credit, Fortensky has never publicly spoken ill of Taylor.

Then there’s Charlie Sheen, the Hollywood playboy who had finally married model Donna Peele. After 20 weeks of marriage, Sheen called it quits, telling a national television audience: “I couldn’t breathe. I had to come up for air … You buy a car, it breaks down, what are you going to do?”

Old-fashioned finesse made the difference at least once. The late attorney Melvin Belli was present when Errol Flynn walked into a lawyer’s office, gave his estranged wife a bouquet of roses, kissed her and said: “Honey, my lawyer’s going to lay it all out on the table, and you take what you think you’re entitled to.”

Flynn then left the room and his tearful wife settled for much less than her original demands.

MEMO: This sidebar appeared with the story: LASTING MARRIAGES Elizabeth Taylor, Mickey Rooney and Lana Turner married eight times; Gloria Swanson six; and Richard Burton, Henry Fonda, Clark Gable, Judy Garland, Cary Grant and Rita Hayworth five. So who are Hollywood’s old faithfuls? Some long-lasting marriages include: Bob and Dolores Hope. Larry and Maj Hagman. Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme. Steve Allen and Jayne Meadows. Jay and Mavis Leno. Lloyd and Dorothy Bridges. Ronald and Nancy Reagan.