Eternal ‘Why’ Questions Call For Creativity

Q. Our 2-year-old son has started asking “Why?” about almost everything. He’ll ask a question like, “What’s this (pointing to something)?” One of us answers and he immediately asks “Why?” again.

This could go on forever if we didn’t eventually call it quits, to which he always looks disappointed and we end up feeling slightly guilty.

We don’t want to stifle his curiosity, but sometimes we feel we’re doing nothing but answering “Why?” Do you have any suggstions?

A. Simply because your son can ask the question “Why?” doesn’t mean he can understand the answer.

For instance, let’s say he points to a picture of the sun coming up and asks, “What’s this?” You say, “It’s a picture of the sun coming up in the morning,” to which he asks, “Why?” In the first place, he doesn’t know what he’s asking.

Second, even if he did, I guarantee that no amount of explaining will begin to help him understand why the sun seems to suddenly appear over the horizon every morning. At 2, he’s probably unable to comprehend the answers to at least 80 percent of his “Why?” questions. But as you’ve discovered, comprehend or not, he’s going to keep on asking.

The never-ending “Why?” is fairly typical of verbal 2-year-olds, and most of them are, in fact, quite verbal. “Why?” is, first of all, a request for information.

As such, you should give information, but it isn’t necessary that you give accurate information. In fact, your answer can be total blarney, as long as it relates in some way to the question.

For instance, if your son asks, “Why?” about sunrise, you can answer “Becuase it likes to play peek-a-boo with us, just like you!” “So everyone can wake up.”

One answer is really as good as the next. It’s even all right to give a different answer each time your son asks the same question. Give yourself permission to be playful about this!

Your son keeps asking “Why?” becuase he’s beginning to understand the world in terms of cause-and-effect relationships. This is an exciting discovery, and he wants to know as much about it as he can.

It’s enough, however, that you simply let him know that “Yes, there’s a reason for that, too!” It’s also important that the answer be in terms he can understand. In most instances, this eliminates the correct answer from the running.

If you have a problem with this, take a look at the books you read to him, in which there are fantastic creatures and trees that have personalities and all sorts of impossible things happen.

The point is, it’s not necessary that you describe the world to children in correct terms, only that you describe it in terms - however fantastic or fictional - that they can, at some level, comprehend. If it was vital that young children always hear correct answers and descriptions, we’d read to them from the encyclopedia instead of story books.

Realize also that the repetitive “Why?” is also the beginnings of conversations. It’s verbal give-and-take at its most basic level. And again, the give-and-take, the process, is far more important than the content of your answers.

So, be as creative as you like! When you’ve had enough, change the subject by asking your son a question. When he answers, say, “Great! It’s time for you to go play in your room now.”

Now, please stop taking all this so seriously and go have a little fun! xxxx

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = John Rosemond The Charlotte Observer