No Fool Like An Old Fool
Dear Ann Landers: The “sugar daddy” of the 1930s is not dead. He is alive and well and living in Florida.
My husband hired a secretary who could not type, didn’t know shorthand and said filing things was too much trouble. She did, however, answer the phone. This woman rented a computer, a fax machine and a tape recorder and purchased all the items needed to run an office. Her expense account, over and above her generous salary, was $1,000 a month. She did not have to submit receipts, nor did she account for her time.
Her first month in the office, this so-called secretary took a nine-day vacation. Actually, it was 10 days. She needed an extra day to shop for her nine-day vacation. Four months later, she wanted to go to DisneyWorld, so the company provided the plane ticket. Three months after that, she went to Las Vegas for a “working vacation” and then to see her parents for a week because it was “on the way.” (They live in South Dakota.) These tickets were paid for by the company, too. When the chief of operations finally terminated this flea brain, my husband saw to it that she received a month’s severance pay.
Don’t tell me old men can’t have fun. My husband is 72 and still keeps in touch with this shrewd little cupcake. He thinks I don’t know. I’m too old to consider divorce or separation, but it would do my heart good to see this letter in the paper. Please make my day. - The Old Gray Mare in Brandon, Fla.
Dear O.G.M.: I guess there’s no fool like an old fool. Meanwhile, I hope you have children and grandchildren and a few hobbies of your own. (P.S.: Why not treat yourself to a shopping spree? You’ve earned it, honey.)
Dear Ann Landers: A few months ago, when I was recovering from surgery and in bed suffering post-operative pain, my sister, “Ellen,” came by to see me. My husband, “Dan,” who is a physician, happened to enter the room and saw Ellen take prescription drugs out of the box beside my bed and slip them into her pocket. Ellen looked up and realized he had seen her, even though I didn’t notice a thing.
Dan didn’t want to alarm me, so he said nothing. He waited until Ellen went home and then telephoned her. She didn’t say much, except that she had a very bad headache and needed medication. Ellen didn’t know Dan had counted the capsules before her visit and knew she was lying about how many she had stolen. Later that evening, she phoned to apologize to Dan, but he wasn’t home, so she talked to me and confessed that she had taken my pills.
Ellen is an alcoholic and has been sober for approximately eight years. We are concerned about her health and safety. We also worry about her tendency to steal prescription drugs (as well as other things) from our home and possibly the homes of her friends. We are afraid she might start shoplifting and end up in jail.
Dan and I don’t feel comfortable discussing this with Ellen’s husband, and she has always been very defensive, so it isn’t easy to talk to her about personal problems. Please give us some guidance. - Worried Sick in Newport Beach, Calif.
Dear Worried in Newport: Your sister needs help. Ellen has traded one addiction for another. She is off the booze but is now hooked on pills.
It is essential that you inform her husband about this latest occurrence. His wife needs professional help, and he must see that she gets it at once. By withholding this information, you are doing your sister a grave injustice.