The Slice And Don’t Let The Door Hit You On The Way Out

Stop us if you’ve heard this one.

There are certain young adults who love to whine that their biggest fear is waking up one day to discover they stayed in Spokane and wound up married and boring, “just like everybody else around here.”

You know, wearing normal clothes, having children and what have you. Talk about future shock.

Well, we certainly hope that doesn’t happen. So here’s a suggestion. Do something extreme.

Leave. Spokane needs people who want to be here.

You don’t see this every day: Bagpipers were practicing outside a Millwood church early one recent evening when an elderly woman drove by and flipped them off.

“Maybe she thinks we’re No. 1,” one of the pipers speculated.

Barking: Last Saturday’s story about an older couple’s run-in with a snarling dog and its ill-tempered owner reminded C. F. Brenton that people thinking their dogs can do no wrong is nothing new.

“About 1933, when I was using a motorcycle to work for the Western Union, I delivered a telegram to an address on the South Side,” wrote Brenton, who is 85. “When I was through, every time I tried to crank over my cycle, this little dog made a grab for my leg.”

So he picked up some small stones and tossed them at the pooch.

The dog’s owner, a woman sitting on a nearby porch, yelled, “You stop throwing rocks at that dog.”

Brenton thought about responding but just did a slow boil.

By the time he got back to his office, his boss had heard about the incident and was ready to chew him out. But he backed off when he realized Brenton was not in the mood to be told he had been in the wrong.

Animal, vegetable, whatever: We heard about a 4-year-old boy who spotted goldfish congregated near the surface of a pond. “Look at the carrots,” he exclaimed.

Slice answer: An amusement park ride named after Louisa Retherford’s varied experiences would be called “Mi Vida Loca” (My crazy life).

Talk about scary: We’ve heard about people getting ready for Halloween already. Just say “No.”

Warm-up questions: Who around here visited the most states this summer? (Driving through counts, flying over doesn’t.) Do you ever construct stories to explain things left behind in a seat of an STA bus?

Today’s Slice question: Will this area ever see another run-up in housing prices like in the early ‘90s?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, Wa 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. The upcoming movie, “The Ice Storm,” has nothing to do with Spokane.