The Slice Quest Continues To Pin Down Our Very Special Something

OK, where were we? Oh, yeah. Trying to figure out what makes Spokane tick.

Here are our latest theories.

1. The secret shame of knowing that one family member views littering as a form of self-expression.

2. Constant background fear that the Water Conservation Police are going to burst in at any minute and shout:

“We’ve had a tip that you removed the flow-restrictor from your shower head.”

3. Repeatedly experiencing what has been described as “Hi Anxiety.” You know, seeing people in public and feeling certain that you have met them before but being unable to recall their names.

4. The mood-warping fact that one of your neighbors has no reluctance about firing up his chain saw at 7 a.m.

5. The troubling realization that most of your creative energy goes into trying to get your family’s trash to fit into one garbage container.

What a bargain: Heather Bickford’s dad once bought a pair of work boots for 25 cents at a garage sale. He bragged about the great deal he had found. And he started wearing the boots to work.

Soon he began having back problems. Co-workers noticed that he was limping.

Turns out one of the boots had an orthopedic heel that was about an inch higher than the other boot.

He stopped wearing them and the back problems and limp went away.

Overheard outside the North Side Target: A little girl who had just been kicked in the leg by an even smaller girl was fuming. “If we were adults, you’d be in jail already,” she said.

We were going to chime in and say, “Actually, she’d probably be out on probation, free to kick again.”

But we decided against it.

Three things grizzly bear mothers wouldn’t put up with: 1. Skateboarder attitude. 2. Daily arguments about makeup. 3. Complaints about dinner.

Last call: Saturday night, not long before the midnight closing time, we hung out for a few minutes at a South Hill video rental store.

And it occurred to us that a TV show consisting of real-life footage of couples trying to negotiate movie choices might be pretty watchable.

Warm-up question: What actors should be cast in the lead roles when the novel “Cold Mountain” is turned into a movie?

Today’s Slice question: Can you name three things in your life more satisfying than the feeling you get from deploying your sprinklers and subsequently seeing the results?

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