The Slice We’ve Got A Name For Winter Weather

Tue., Oct. 22, 1996

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

Is it fair that just because the Inland Northwest doesn’t get hurricanes, people around here don’t get to experience the drama of storms with names?

No. Of course, not.

But inasmuch as the National Weather Service has shown no inclination to remedy this injustice, it would appear that it is up to us.

So here goes. The Slice Meteorological Forecast Center is predicting eight major winter storms for the ‘96-‘97 season. And these blizzards shall be named, in order: Phineas, Dexter, Nimrod, Marcia Brady, Gilligan, Newman, Pookie and Mr. Potter.

Not even close: “Land and People,” a magazine published by The Trust for Public Lands, says Spokane County’s Long Lake is “on the Puget Sound.”

Questions from our pal Betsy Weigle: Is it pronounced “li-lack,” “li-lock” or “li-luck”? And does a person’s pronunciation have anything to do with which area of town they live in?

Does anyone else remember “bread-sack boot liners” in their winter boots as a kid?

For three years, I have occasionally had people ( and most are not exactly friendly) call my house trying to reach the city’s Zoning Department. Why is it that these people would then assume I knew (or cared) what the correct number is? And am I under obligation to look it up?

When calling a place of business or doctor’s office, why is it that “service representatives” always ask “Can you hold?” but never wait for your answer?

Does anyone else think it’s funny to hear first-graders saying “Peace, man” when they greet each other?

Why was the woman who was stopped at the light at 29th and Grand last Tuesday morning changing her clothes in her car? She got her shirt off, but the light turned green and then she was driving down Grand in her brassiere.

Agree or disagree: “When you see a beautiful woman, always remember: Somebody is tired of her.” - from a Barry Hannah story in the November issue of Esquire

Warm-up question: How many of your co-workers spend more time on personal calls than on their work?

Today’s Slice question: For what actor or actress would your spouse/significant other dump you in about two seconds?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Color Photo

MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. The friendly cat often in the window at Time Bomb, a vintage clothing store downtown, is named Lint. Stop by and say hello.

The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. The friendly cat often in the window at Time Bomb, a vintage clothing store downtown, is named Lint. Stop by and say hello.