Learn More Before Acting
Dear Ann Landers: Four years ago, my husband and I retired to Arizona. Today, we received the following letter from our 12-year-old grandson, “Jimmy”:
“Dear Grandma and Grandpa: I miss you very much. I wish I were in Arizona right now with you. I really hate what is going on with my parents, so I will get right to the point.
“I don’t want to live here anymore. I don’t like the way my mom and dad are always fighting. I love them, but I really do want to live with you in Arizona. I am not joking and I am not going to change my mind.
“I can survive without my friends. It will be OK for you to go golfing. I am used to being alone. If you agree with me, please send me a plane ticket and a little money. I love you both very much and miss you more than anything in the world - Jimmy.”
Ann, why can’t parents settle their differences away from the eyes and ears of their children? - Loving Grandparents in Sun City
Dear Loving Grandparents: It is not possible for a couple to hide their “differences” from their children for long. Furthermore, I would have to know a lot more about the nature of those differences before I sent Jimmy a plane ticket and money.
If Jimmy is having difficulty at home, it would be better if he could discuss the problem with his school counselor or a trusted adult nearby. I urge you to suggest it to him.
It’s nice that Jimmy sees a safe haven with you, but I would be careful about allowing the boy to move out of his parents’ home and into yours. Such a move would alter your life considerably. Think about it.
Dear Ann Landers: Everyone knows that a wave of the hand can be a signal of gratitude from one motorist to another. On the flip side, a honk on the horn or an upraised hand with a digit extended signals that you have done something to irritate another motorist.
At some time or another, every driver makes a dumb traffic move. We need a universal signal of apology to show the offended motorist before things get nasty. I have thought of the palm of the hand to the side of the head, except the other motorist might think that gesture indicates he’s an idiot.
I’ll bet your readers can come up with a truly terrific signal of apology and help lower the blood pressure of a lot of irritated drivers. - Bethel Park, Pa.
Dear Bethel Park: I’m for anything that will help promote peace and harmony on the highway.
How about it, readers? Any ideas for a hand signal to let another driver know you goofed? I’ve been wracking my brain and coming up empty.
Dear Ann Landers: A few years ago, you wrote about vaginal tucks for women who need a few stitches to get tightened up. When I read that letter, it meant nothing to me. I was about 16 years old. I’m 28 now, and a few months ago, I had a very large baby who should have been born via C-section but wasn’t.
Do you still think it’s a good idea? Can you recommend a doctor in my area who performs this procedure? Thanks for your help. - Anonymous Please
Dear Anon: The procedure is relatively simple, and yes, I do still endorse it. I never recommend specific doctors, however. Your gynecologist should be able to help you.