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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

The Boss Won’t Endorse Rock Wannabe Dole Man

Compiled By Staff Writer Dan Web

Let’s get this straight once and for all: Bruce Springsteen’s song “Born in the U.S.A” is not a jingoistic celebration of America.

It tells the story about a Vietnam veteran who feels forgotten by his country. The celebratory tone is IRONIC.

No wonder Springsteen is upset that the Bob Dole’s campaign bus rolled into Red Bank, N.J., playing the song. “Just for the record,” Springsteen said, “I’d like to make clear that it was used without my permission and I am not a supporter of the Republican ticket.”

Other Dole slogan gaffes: A copyright dispute forces him to stop using “Dole Man,” based on the Sam & Dave hit “Soul Man”; “Just Do It” Nike complaining about Dole’s “Just Don’t Do It” anti-drug mantra.

Loose talk

Rosie O’Donnell on Tom Cruise (on the “Today” show): “I don’t understand the crush I have on him. It’s not really a sexual thing. I want him to walk around my house in jeans and a T-shirt and fetch me things.”

He’s either a rock or a bridge over troubled waters

Art Garfunkel turns 54 today.

And somewhere we gotta believe Ty Cobb is smiling

Professional sports have gotten so outlandish that even David Letterman’s jokes seem tame. The other night the “Late Show” host said, “I was reading in The Sporting News (that) every time a baseball player spits on an umpire, Billy Martin’s widow gets a check for $100.”

Does she or doesn’t she? To be honest, it just depends

Criticized by the makers of Depends, “Tonight” host Jay Leno denies ever taking unfair shots at the product. “Most of the jokes are just silly,” he said. As for Depends spokeswoman June Allyson, “I never said she was incontinent,” Leno contends, “but she sells the product.”

An angry anthem sells well: Isn’t it ironic?

With 13 million CDs sold, Alanis Morissette’s “Jagged Little Pill” is the biggest-selling album ever by a female singer in the U.S. “Whitney Houston” sold 12 mil and Carole King’s “Tapestry,” 10 mil. In addition, “Pill” is the third best-selling debut album behind “Boston” (15 million) and Hootie & the Blowfish’s “Cracked Rear View” (14 million).

And don’t forget the videocams in the Port-O-Sans

According to one of his former employees, Michael Jackson is just a tad paranoid. Sandi Domz, one of five ex-employees suing Jackson for wrongful termination, testified that she was told to eavesdrop on other workers and was shown hidden mikes all about Neverland ranch.

Turns out that Cher’s too old and she don’t know…

When her daughter’s revealed she was gay, Cher admits “I just didn’t have a very Cher-like reaction. I was really upset.” Maybe that’s why Chastity Bono, 27, told her Congressman father, Sonny Bono, first.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster