Bang-Up Memories

When The Slice asked readers for stories about accidents on the ski slopes, we were engaging in what is sometimes known as reverse psychology.

You know. If you openly talk about a bad thing, maybe it won’t happen. It was our way of hoping that everyone has a safe ski season this time around.

As you know, that’s not always the case. Sometimes it would be appropriate to spell it “winter wreckreation.”

We heard about a guy who was showing off for a girl at Red Mountain when he managed to puncture an eardrum with the tip of his ski pole. We heard about lots of bones and joints that went snap, crackle, pop.

And readers also shared plenty of tales of wounded pride, some of which we believe. (Hey folks, there can’t be that many women who pulled down their pants and squatted behind a tree only to then slide backward through a crowd of gawking skiers.)

But as for the issue of whether these responses answer the question “Is skiing really a good idea?”…well, why don’t you judge for yourself.

Susan Meyer described herself as a non-skier. And it’s not hard to understand why. Her one and only ski outing - when she was a high school senior - resulted in a broken leg suffered on the bunny slope at Mount Spokane. “Ah, the memory,” she wrote.

Meghan Delaney’s encounter with a Silver Mountain run known as “Terrible Edith” finished up in the emergency room, though she was discovered to have bruises and not breaks.

Coeur d’Alene’s Lynne Hutton recalled colliding with President Gerald Ford just as he was getting off a lift chair at Vail in March of 1975. “For a moment, he was unrecognizable while we sat stunned in the snow, staring at each other,” wrote Hutton. “But I do remember thinking this man will burn his balding scalp at such a high altitude (I had knocked off his hat). Secret Service immediately rushed to his aid and left me unattended.”

Isaac Weiser told about coming away with bruised ribs and a bloody nose after running into a tree. Kelly Ann Collier described how she broke a leg in three places when she flew over a creek and got planted in the opposite bank.

Coeur d’Alene’s Katherine von Hagen listed multiple mistakes - wrong equipment, wrong conditions, wrong companions - that led to a spill leaving her with enough ligament and tendon damage to finish her for the season.

“I only broke two legs,” wrote Sandpoint’s Pam Trimble. “Fortunately, they were both on other people.”

Rockford’s Dave Thompson fractured a leg in six places count ‘em, six a couple of years ago at Schweitzer Mountain. But that didn’t dampen his enthusiasm for the sport. He recently bought new skis and boots.

“I guess it’s in my blood,” he said.

Thanks to all who shared their stories. Here are the winning submissions:

Third place goes to Chattaroy’s Mandie Remek, for passing along the scary story of an unusual accident experienced by someone near and dear.

“My fiance, Ryan (he asked that I not provide his last name), was skiing with his brother at Mount Spokane a few years ago. He was making a routine stop in the middle of a run and for some reason (unknown to anyone) his ski popped off and stuck in the snow. The other end, unfortunately, sliced through his ski pants, his sweats, his long underwear, his undershorts, and his scrotum.

“He was rushed to the emergency room, where he received 55 stitches. Luckily, nothing ‘major’ was cut, so he recovered fully and doctors say he will be able to have children.

“And, he continues to ski - more aggressively every year. He feels it was a freak accident, and the chances of it happening again are very low. I hope so.”

Second place goes to Spokane’s Jack Bishop for his recollection of a comedy of confusion at Sun Valley several years ago.

Here’s the story:

Bishop fell and broke his ankle during a run. The ski patrol brought him down and an ambulance was called.

But when the ambulance arrived and the driver saw Bishop’s extremely pregnant wife standing there, he completely misunderstood the nature of the emergency. He started to help her into the back of the ambulance and told Bishop to hop in the front.

And we’re declaring Barbara Earle Montgomery of St. Maries our winner for her ski story suggesting that, no, you can’t go home again.

“A few years back, I visited my childhood ski hill - Turner Mountain - outside Libby, Mont. This ‘rustic’ hill offers heavenly snow and a T-bar straight from hell. The T-bar lift is invariably frozen stiff until around closing time.

“I was riding up the T-bar with my son. He decided to get off and I chose to continue up the hill. As soon as he bailed off, my side of the frozen T went up the back of my down jacket, flipped me upside down and continued to drag me up the hill.

“The most painful part of the experience was watching my family members (including my husband, sister, nieces, nephews, et cetera) standing on the slope laughing uproariously at the sight of me being helplessly dragged on my head up the tow line.

“Finally, one of them came to his senses (a nephew, I think) and contacted the lift operator, and the lift was stopped. I was promptly dumped on my head but still needed assistance to get untangled.

“I’m not sure what suffered the most bruises - my body or my ego.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Staff illustration by Molly Quinn