It’s Good You’re In Counseling
Dear Ann Landers: I should have written 26 years ago. What finally convinced me to write was the letter from the man who said that if wives don’t satisfy their husbands’ sexual appetites the men will look elsewhere. I’d be happy if my husband did just that.
I loved sex before we were married, but after the wedding, he demanded it at least once a day, often twice. Being young and naive, I accommodated him. We had sex every day for 14 years, even through my periods, and up to the night before the birth of each child.
After 14 years, I realized my mental health was at stake. I told him every other night was my limit. After 26 years, he wonders why I’m cold to him. We are now in couples therapy, but I doubt that I will ever truly enjoy sex again. Emotional blackmail and lack of respect and affection made it a chore.
If husbands treated their wives like they did during courtship, they would get more (of everything) in return. - Mrs. X
Dear Mrs. X: I’m glad you are in couples therapy at long last. The first 14 years of your marriage must have been hell. The fact that your husband agreed to counseling bodes well for the future. You would be surprised how many husbands say to their wives, “It’s your problem. You go.” Yours didn’t. That’s a good sign.
Dear Ann Landers: I just read about a couple in Santa Ana, Calif., that is seeking legal advice because the Social Security Administration has given their newborn daughter a number that includes 666 - the biblical mark of the beast. The parents said they will not acknowledge their daughter on their ‘96 tax returns because of the number.
Two of my siblings and I have 666 in our Social Security numbers, but our parents did not complain. The numbers never had any impact on our personal or professional lives, nor have we been passed over for employment because of it. No one ever told us that we carry the mark of the devil.
I think the whole thing is idiotic. What about you, Ann? - Cranston, R.I.
Dear Cranston: Idiotic or not, superstitious folks do not respond to reason. We checked with the Social Security Administration and were told that people occasionally object to their numbers for cultural, religious and superstitious reasons. It has been SSA policy not to reassign numbers, regardless.
In this California case, however, Commissioner Shirley Chater plans to provide the baby girl with a new Social Security number and review the policy in order to allow numbers to be reassigned if there are legitimate reasons to do so. Now, isn’t that nice?
Dear Ann Landers: Your column certainly puts the best and the worst of human nature in the spotlight. I’ve learned a lot from you over the years. Your column has been a post-graduate course in life. And now I’d like to point out something I’ve learned on my own. It’s the selfishness of grown children who don’t want their father to remarry, especially if he has a little money.
If he’s in modest circumstances, they try to steer him toward a rich widow so they won’t have him on their hands.
What about it, Ann? Am I right or wrong? - A Witness in Houston
Dear Houston: I don’t share your cynicism. Some children only want their father to have a good life after Mom dies and do what they can to make it happen. Bless them.