Show Her Love While You Can

Dear Readers: Today is Mother’s Day. I have been looking for something appropriate. A regular letter wouldn’t do. The one I selected for this very special day appeared in my column in 1987. I believe it is perfect for the occasion, and I hope you will think so, too. Here it is:

Dear Ann Landers: I had a marvelous mother who loved me, sacrificed for me and helped me in every way possible. All my years of growing up, through college and eventually marriage, my mother was at my side. When I needed help with my little ones, she was there for me.

Today, we buried that wonderful woman. Can you imagine how I felt when I returned from the services and found this poem in her desk drawer?

The Time Is Now

If you are ever going to love me,

Love me now, while I can know

The sweet and tender feelings

Which from true affection flow.

Love me now

While I am living,

Do not wait until I’m gone

And then have it chiseled in marble,

Sweet words on ice-cold stone.

If you have tender thoughts of me,

Please tell me now.

If you wait until I am sleeping,

Never to awaken,

There will be death between us,

And I won’t hear you then.

So, if you love me, even a little bit,

Let me know it while I am living

So I can treasure it.

Now she is gone, and I am sick with guilt because I never told her what she meant to me. Worse yet, I didn’t treat her as she deserved to be treated.

I found time for everyone and everything, but I never made time for her. It would have been easy to drop in for a cup of tea and a hug, but my friends came first. Would any of them have done for me what my mother did? I know the answer.

When I called Mom on the phone, I was always in a hurry. I feel ashamed when I think of the times I cut her off. I remember, too, the times I could have included her and didn’t.

Our children loved Grandma from the time they were babies. They often turned to her for counsel and comfort. She understood them. I realize now that I was too critical, too short-tempered, too stingy with praise. Grandma gave them unconditional love.

The world is filled with sons and daughters like me. I hope they see themselves in this column and profit from it. It’s too late for me, and I am sick with regrets. - Guilty and Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken: Here’s your letter —on Mother’s Day. I was deeply moved by it and am sure others will be, too. Bless you for writing.

The first Mother’s Day I can recall was in 1928. I was 10 years old. My sister and I wanted to buy Mama something special. We had saved up 20 cents. Woolworth’s Five and Ten was within walking distance, so off we went. We were fascinated by the dozens of goldfish swimming around in a tank. The plain goldfish were 10 cents apiece (no tax in those days). We purchased two, brought them home in a cardboard cup filled with water and put them in a clear soup bowl that we hid until the next day. We then proudly presented the goldfish to Mama for Mother’s Day.

She pretended to be thrilled and said it was the best gift she had ever received.