Hey Boss, I Got A Hole-In-One

Since that lazy summer afternoon 35 years ago, when I first applied my split grip to a neighbor’s 3-wood, dropped an Acushnet Club Special in the outfield grass at the high school baseball diamond and experienced the thrill of hitting a 145-yard grounder, I’ve hoped and waited.

Some nights, I’ve even dreamed.

On every par-3 I’ve played, I’ve visualized. And on a couple of rare occasions, when I’ve hit what momentarily masqueraded as the perfect golf shot, I’ve even held my breath in anticipation.

Through all of the hoping, waiting and dreaming, however, I had never come within 4 feet of holing a tee shot.

Sure, I had heard good things about holes-in-one, living them vicariously through the stories of some of my more fortunate - and in some cases, downright lucky - golfing friends.

But Friday afternoon, I ended a lifelong hole-in-one drought by acing the 167-yard, par-3 eighth hole at MeadowWood Golf Course.

And I can now offer this advice to those golf addicts still dreaming: Enjoy the vision, because hole-in-one reality can bite - unlike the bladed 4-iron I hit into the cup.

In my dreams, my first hole-in-one results from a crisply struck iron, the ball drawing in directly over the flagstick, landing 5 feet behind the hole and spinning back into the cup.

In reality, I caught the ball on the leading edge of my 4-iron, sending a low, aggressive slice directly at the sandtrap that guards the left front of the green. The ball hit short of the trap, took a big bounce onto the green and, with some help from the left-to-right spin I had unintentionally imparted on it, tracked directly into the hole.

In my dreams, my playing partners shout accolades the moment the ball leaves my club: “Great shot!” “Get stiff!” “You da man!”

In reality, the first words out of one of my playing partner’s mouth after I “thinned” my 4-iron were: “What the hell was that?”

In my dreams, I hold my pose and follow the graceful arch of the shot.

In reality, I held my pose, hoping those around me might think I was trying to hit some kind of difficult knock-down shot - and wondering, at the same time, whether my forced facial expression was adequately masking the painful tingle in the fingers of my right hand.

In my dreams, I drop my club next to my bag and walk off the course, reasoning that unless a gross “0” is possible, there is no longer room for improvement. Then I march into the clubhouse, slap down my Visa and buy drinks for the house.

In reality, I exchanged quick high-fives, shouldered my bag and completed the final 10 holes of a torturous 5-1/2-hour round. Then I checked to make sure I still had my empty wallet and sneaked to my car.

I arrived at work an hour late, but told my boss I had been busy digging up a lead for my golf notebook. That was reality.

In my dreams, he bought it.

Free instruction for kids

The Athletic Round Table will kick off its third annual Junior Golf Program early next month with the first of six free instructional clinics for children ages 8 to 14.

Clinics will run from 1-3 p.m. at various local courses and will include lunch, prizes and instructions from two local golf pros.

Each clinic will be limited to 50 participants. Anyone interested in registering should contact the host course of the clinic they wish to attend.

The first clinic will be held July 2 at Esmeralda. The sites of the other clinics will be The Creek at Qualchan (July 11), Downriver (July 16), Indian Canyon (July 25), Liberty Lake (Aug. 6) and Painted Hills (Aug. 13).

Junior Tour mapped out

The first of three qualifying tournaments in the A.R.T.’s Junior Golf Tour will be held July 20 at Downriver.

Additional qualifiers, for boys and girls 8 to 17, will be held July 22 at Liberty Lake and July 23 at Esmeralda, with the top golfers advancing to the championship tournament Aug. 5-9 at Esmeralda.

The top male and female finisher will earn berths in the Senior Pro Classic, which will be held Labor Day weekend at Indian Canyon. Entry forms should be available at area golf courses within the next two weeks.

Each tournament will be limited to 80 competitors. Entry fee is $10.

A couple of team spots are still available for the second annual Inland Northwest Football Foundation tournament, which will be held Friday at Hangman Valley.

Entry fee for the scramble event is $100 and includes a a chance to win a weekend football trip to San Francisco.

For more details, call 924-7768.

, DataTimes