It Is Never The Only Way
Dear Ann Landers: This is for “Bill in Oregon,” who is contemplating suicide. I want to give him two reasons why he should not consider this alternative.
First of all, I tried it. I swallowed 100 sleeping pills, drove my car while completely out of it and got arrested for driving under the influence. I could have killed someone. I live with this thought every day.
Secondly, my husband’s ex-wife (they were married 20 years) recently committed suicide. It has been a living nightmare. Everyone is angry, bitter, guilty and helpless. You cannot imagine the pain suicide causes to friends and family.
Bill, you may not care about yourself, but others care about you - a lot. You will hurt them terribly. Things do get better. Set small goals for yourself. Live hour by hour or minute by minute. After my suicide attempt, I checked into a hospital and am now on medication. Life is good again. Thank God I failed. I am - Alive and Well in Sacramento
Dear Sacramento: Your testimony carries more weight than anything I might say. Thank you for it. Keep reading:
Dear Ann Landers: This is for “Bill in Oregon,” who is considering suicide.
My brother committed suicide six weeks ago, after a long battle with alcohol. He was 30. My mother is inconsolable. She can’t eat or sleep and spends all her days at the cemetery. My sisters and I are devastated. The blame and guilt are tremendous. Why couldn’t we help him?
Death is so final. The children in our family are scared and confused, and have nightmares wondering who will be next. If Bill believes death is the answer to his problems, he’s mistaken. Death is the beginning of everyone else’s problems. The guilt and sadness never go away. - Long Island
Dear Ann Landers: I just had to write in response to “Bill in Oregon,” who was contemplating suicide. I, too, have experienced the same desire. It has been 10 years since I almost made that horrible mistake.
The feeling of hopelessness is the worst of all. People who have never been where Bill is cannot possibly understand how overpowering depression can be. I would like to tell Bill to hang on. There IS life after depression. I know he feels very much alone in this fight, but there are many of us who have been where he is now, and we truly understand. I wish I could say there is a magic cure, but there isn’t. Only time, determination and professional help can do it.
I am so thankful I didn’t kill myself 10 years ago. I have a wonderful wife and two sons whom I love dearly. I have enjoyed seeing my older son get married and my younger son grow up. I could have missed all this.
I know there are days when Bill feels he can’t go on, but if he doesn’t want to continue for himself, he should do it for his family. They need him. It really is worth it, and it will get better. - Been There in Iowa
Dear Iowa: Thank you on behalf of all the Bills out there whose lives may have been saved because you took the time and trouble to share your story.
The heart of your message was captured in the last four words - “It will get better.” I hope every person who contemplates suicide will keep repeating them.
Gem of the Day: The best way to live is to appreciate each minute as an unrepeatable miracle. Work at your work and play at your play. Shed your tears. Enjoy your laughter. Don’t try to borrow from the future. Accept the fact that now is the best time of your life. (Origin unknown)