Cheap Seats

No kids, pets, crackpots

Bob Zimmerman turned down NBC’s offer of $20,500 to sublet his downtown Atlanta apartment to make room for an Olympic television studio. When the network built its studio around him, he stopped paying rent, got evicted and sued for $2.5 million.

“I had plans for the apartment,” said Zimmerman, who moved out of the one-room flat he used for his business as a travel writer. “The whole thing was turned into a gigantic construction site.”

Because he was “living in the middle of a television studio,” Zimmerman stopped paying his $1,000-a-month rent and was evicted by his landlord. Collin Siedor, an Atlanta television executive who’s overseeing the construction for NBC News, said Zimmerman wanted more money from NBC.

“It’s one room and a bathroom,” Siedor said. “I mean, he’s nuts. I would have taken that (money).”

Yeah, but if you’re going to whore it up for TV, why be a cheap one?

What have you cooked for us lately?

Former New York Yankee Don Mattingly has closed his signature restaurant - “Mattingly’s 23” - in his hometown of Evansville, Ind., laying off all employees and blaming competition from new eateries.

“People were not coming in anymore,” said a spokeswoman, who declined to give her name. “The decision was just made to close.”

Mattingly, 35, opened the restaurant in 1986, the year after he was named Most Valuable Player in the American League. It was a joint venture among himself, his wife and their families. The restaurant was decorated with hundreds of collectors’ items that Mattingly had gathered during his career.

Mattingly played out his contract last year and did not return to baseball, but he has not announced his formal retirement.

Hey, when your restaurant goes under, you’re retired.

Maybe his nickname should be ‘Woody’

Big night for Mark Guthrie last Saturday. The Dodgers reliever got his second career at-bat, grounding out to second. Last season, he reached on an error against the Giants.

“I’m the only guy in this locker room that has not struck out in the big leagues,” Guthrie said. “And you won’t see it happen, either.”

Guthrie joked with Braves catcher Javy Lopez during his at-bat.

“I told him I hadn’t hit in a long time,” Guthrie said. “Then he yelled something to the pitcher (Pedro Borbon) in Spanish. I said, ‘Is that what you just told him?’ He said ‘Yes,’ and then he threw a changeup.”

Guthrie was on-deck to bat for the Twins in Game 3 of the 1991 World Series, but Rick Aguilera pinch-hit for him and lined out with the bases loaded.

“If they had just let me hit, the whole Series would have been different,” Guthrie said.

Exactly what Tom Kelly was thinking, Mark.

That’s ‘Kid’ Esiason, to you

Arizona Cardinals coach Vince Tobin had his reasons for cutting quarterback Dave Krieg.

“Starting a program with a guy who was to be 38 years old (in October), I don’t know if that’s how you want to start,” he said. “I felt it was in our best interests to make the switch.”

His new quarterback, Boomer Esiason, is 35.

The last word …

“If I’m going to miss, I’d rather look good doing it.”

- Golfer Nick Faldo, going back to using a regular grip after putting cross-handed

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo