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Stanford’s mascot, the Tree, has been put on probation.
According to the Chronicle of Higher Education, the Tree was disqualified from ESPN’s SportsZone site on the World-Wide Web during a contest to determine the most popular of 16 university mascots.
The Tree was felled after Stanford students were caught Cardinal-handed designing a computer program to stuff the ballot box on the Tree’s behalf. Later, appalled visitors to the site voted to ban the Tree from the contest until 2002.
We’ll get Stanford’s side of the story at the band’s next halftime show.
Write when you get wood
There is one man the home-run explosion has passed by: Rafael Belliard, plucky infielder for the Atlanta Braves.
Last month, Belliard blew past the ninth anniversary of his last (and only) homer - more than 1,700 trotless at-bats ago. So Baseball America cartoonist Paul Trap decided to launch a Rafael Belliard homerun derby, in which readers were asked to pick the date of Belliard’s next homer.
“Can you pick ‘never?”’ coach Ned Yost wondered.
“How about if we get an aluminum bat for Raffy and paint it brown?” suggested pitcher Pedro Borbon.
Belliard said he was most likely to end this streak in Chicago or Denver.
“The problem is,” he said, “I don’t want someone to have a heart attack if I do it.”
Who says they never slice at Augusta?
Three employees of the Augusta National Golf Club have been fired and four suspended for allegedly selling their 1996 Masters badges.
Full-time employees receive two free badges, which cost $100 each for patrons, but must sign a waiver agreeing that the badges will be used by family or friends and not sold.
“We had our tickets and the club couldn’t prove the tickets had been sold,” said Jeffrey Hill, a locker room attendant who was gassed. “They said the (serial numbers) came up at the gate. I feel betrayed, especially since no proof was shown. We were singled out. I think this was done to scare the rest of the employees.”
Sounds like a charter member of the Gary McCord Fan Club to us.
Flush, flush, whiz, whiz, oh, what a relief it is
An Atlanta businessman is giving Olympic organizers $1.5 million to install portable toilets.
“There are some things I consider essential that they haven’t been able to finance,” said J.B. Fuqua. “We are going to have all kinds of people here, and we want to leave a good impression.”
With less than 50 days to go before the July 19 opening ceremonies, ACOG is about $160 million shy of raising the $1.7 billion it’s costing to stage the games.
“I think some other wealthy people should step in and help,” said Fuqua. “It’s too bad it’s not permanent, but it can make a world of difference for those two weeks.”
Right. Now you can leave your galoshes home.
The last word …
“The (Olympic) torch will travel to 42 different states, being passed on from athlete to athlete. Now, in non-Olympic years, the same thing is done to Madonna.”
- David Letterman
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo