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Bob Arum wuz robbed

The International Boxing Federation held its annual awards banquet Friday night, with comical results.

Don King - surprise! - was chosen as promoter of the year, while the King-promoted Frans Botha-Axel Schulz heavyweight bout was named fight of the year. (Botha won the fight, but the decision was overturned when he tested positive for drug use.)

Mike Tyson, another of King’s men, was to have been honored as comeback fighter of the year, but was unable to attend because of probation restrictions.

So he settled for convicted rapist of the year.

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em

In our health-conscious society, it might appear a bit out of place to see a professional golfer light up on the course. Ty Webb did it, to be sure, but that was “Caddyshack.” Golf reality is Augusta National and guys named Payne.

“It’s probably not a good thing for our image to smoke out here,” said John Daly. “But you can’t be perfect. Since I quit drinking, I smoke two or three packs a day. I probably smoke one every three holes, half a pack to a pack on the course. It’s a hard habit to quit, and I haven’t even tried.”

Golf, unlike most sports, allows players to smoke during competition. Television seldom focuses on smokers, but it was TV that got Jack Nicklaus to quit. The USGA sent him the film of his 1962 U.S. Open victory at Oakmont, where on the 13th hole of the playoff he had a 25-foot putt.

“It shows me line up the putt. I take the cigarette out of my mouth and throw it on the ground,” said Nicklaus, who kicked his habit in 1982. “I rolled it up to about 6 inches, picked my cigarette up, put it in my mouth, and with it hanging out of my mouth I tapped the putt in. I looked at that and said that’s one of the worst examples for an athlete to send to youth that I could think of.”

Jack, meet The Worm.

Four snapped jocks would be too suspicious

On the way to a 29th career shutout, Indians ace Dennis Martinez had a 1-0 lead against Detroit when he ran into a bases-loaded mess with the count 2-2 on Curtis Pride. Then all four Indians infielders called time and ran to the dugout - for sunglasses. Martinez then got Pride out.

“That was the old sunglasses trick,” said manager Mike Hargrove. “You can’t freeze a shooter on the free-throw line like in basketball. So you’ve got to go get sunglasses to freeze the hitter.”

Yeah, Mike, but during a night game?

The Dalai Scheffler

In a recent column, Blaine Newnham of the Seattle Times referred to Sonics 12th man Steve Scheffler as the team’s “spiritual leader.”

But did he sandbag the other torch-carriers?

Lou Holtz didn’t expect to set any speed records when he ran a leg of the Olympic torch relay through Indianapolis Tuesday. “They haven’t announced this yet, but I believe the Olympics is going to be moved back a day,” the Notre Dame football coach said.

Football having already been set back even further.

The last word …

“I don’t care what he does, as long as he doesn’t walk away with the MVP. Knowing Belle, he might just hit somebody over the head with it.”

- Michael Ventre, Los Angeles Daily News columnist, on Albert Belle

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo