The Slice Mailbox Becomes Web Site

All we can figure is that Inland Northwest arachnids must love catalogs and phone bills.

Because we can’t seem to keep spiders out of our mailbox.

Who’s got a support group we can join?

How to tell the difference between a reporter and an FBI informant: FBI informants eventually shut up.

Readers’ attempts at Spokane bashing: One of our first calls on this subject came from a guy who characterized the Lilac City as “A big Rikki Lake waiting room.”

How to annoy everyone else in the office: Go way overboard in sending out pointless “FYI” messages.

Summer shorts: There’s a book out called “Micro Fiction: An Anthology of Really Short Stories.” None of the stories are longer than 250 words.

Hey, folks. That’s short enough to run in The Slice. So here’s the deal. We’ll send an XL T-shirt adorned with the image of a hamburger and the name of a certain fast-food chain to the reader submitting the best short short-story by the end of August. (Hint: You’ll improve your chances if you localize your piece.)

A barrel o’ warm-up questions: How do you really feel about Spokane’s skywalks? If a group of Inland Northwesterners are chanting “We’re No. 1,” what are they apt to be celebrating? What’s the secret to breaking the code of noncommittal job references?

Which condiment makes life worth living? What did your intended say when you brought up the prenuptial agreement? Did anyone at the top of a local business start out in the mail room? What’s the best/worst thing about working at home?

Doesn’t plant food help weeds grow, too? Which of your co-workers has written the most absurdly long while-I’m-on-vacation memo this summer? Whose routine on-the-job wearing of a hard hat comes closest to being pure affectation? Has some indiscreet California-bashing ever cost someone a job because the person interviewing applicants moved here from Sacramento?

Today’s Slice question: Who’s the absolute best around here when it comes to hearing a street address and knowing, without checking a map, exactly how to get there?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. When inviting your children’s grandparents along on a summer vacation, it’s only fair to tell them in advance if it is your plan to designate them full-time baby-sitters for the duration of the trip.