Cheap Seats

Sad to say goodbye

When the Atlanta Games came to an end Sunday night, Colorado Springs Gazette-Telegraph columnist Rich Tosches was left with nothing but memories of the foreign press corps and his daily browse through their newspapers.

“I will miss many things about these international journalists. Watching a man drink a cottage cheese milkshake because he didn’t recognize the words for ‘vanilla ice cream,’ would be one example,” Tosches writes.

“But what I’ll miss most is sneaking into their offices in the Main Press Center and stealing their newspapers.

“… It was a London Daily Star’s headline Saturday that makes me sad to say goodbye. The story detailed the arrest of a man who was having sex with his wife in their car. The police thought he was drunk. Turns out he wasn’t drunk and the charges were later dropped.

“The headline? “

‘That’s No Drinky. That’s My Winky.’ “

Seeing green

Prior to re-signing with the Bulls for close to $10 million for one season, Dennis Rodman was worming his way into the wallets of the patrons of the Gurnee (Ill.) Mills Mall last week.

Nearly 6,000 people crowded into the Mall to catch a glimpse of the Chicago Bulls’ star rebounder, some paying as much as $85 for his John Hancock.

Rodman was casually dressed in jeans and a T-shirt with mint-green polish on his nails. His hair was tinted blond.

For $65, Rodman signed pictures, books, cards, anything that was flat.

Guess preggie Madonna didn’t stop by to request a signature on her stomach.

Home improvements

While embarrassed GM Jim Bowden said he would have every bat in the Reds’ clubhouse X-rayed for cork, reserve third baseman Chris Sabo insists he was victim of someone else’s dirty work reguarding the alleged-corked bat incident last month.

“I don’t have a drill press in my house, and I don’t have cork,” he said. “I can barely change a light bulb. Look at my stats. I have three home runs and 16 RBIs, which is certainly no endorsement for the cork industry.”

A handshake instead of a dis?

Joe Gilbride wants to make a deal with Albert Belle: A baseball in return for a handshake.

Gilbride caught Belle’s two-out, ninth-inning grand slam Wednesday night, which gave the Indians a 4-2 win over the Toronto Blue Jays.

It was Belle’s 36th homer.

He was later approached by a stadium security guard, who asked for his name and phone number in case Belle wants the ball.

“I’ll give it back to him,” Gilbride, 19, of Stow, Ohio, said Thursday.

No word yet on whether Belle cooperated, or acted like, well … Albert.

The last word …

“I’ve got a birthday coming up, and there were a couple of times I thought I was going to miss it, I had so much time.”

- Raiders quarterback Billy Joe Hobert, 16 of 23 for 186 yards in Oakland’s exhibition win over Arizona

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo