The Slice The Grass Looks Greener The Farther Away You Are

Isn’t it funny that people in other parts of the country are often more open to the idea that Spokane is an OK place than are countless residents of the Seattle area?

If you drew a pie chart showing how you’ve lived your life: How big of a slice would be devoted to “Time spent trying to find the remote”?

By the numbers: According to statistics in Discover magazine, an American’s risk of being infected with flesh-eating bacteria is 1 in 170,000. So only about one person in Spokane proper has to worry about it. Chances are, it’s not you.

But on a more somber note, The Slice Institute for Social Research calculates that the odds one of your co-workers will seriously get on your nerves today are 1 in 3.

Parental supervision not required: Cable’s AMC channel presents a Shirley Temple festival today.

On second thought, parents might want to duck in now and then and explain that attitudes about minorities found in these otherwise charming films reflect a bygone era.

Next question: A reader called and left a message. She asked why most bras hook behind the back.

Here’s our report. We don’t know. And we’re not going to make any effort to find out.

But while we’re sort of on the subject of breasts…another reader told us about being seated next to a woman at “Fiddler on the Roof” who tried to calm a fussy baby by attempting to breast-feed the child. And that made us wonder. Here in 1996, how do most people feel about witnessing breast-feeding in public?

Worse than ticks: “If spring has a downside, it’s that the Great Outdoors is infested once again with young lovers, who are surely the most annoying people on the planet.” - Kevin Cowherd, The Baltimore Sun

One great thing about living here: You never encounter TV tennis analyst Bud Collins in person.

Warm-up question: What if you can’t stand someone who goes to your church?

Today’s Slice question: You know those people who habitually blame Spokane’s real and imagined shortcomings for every little personal bad mood and disappointment, never pointing a finger at themselves? Well, are they happier than the rest of us because they’re in denial?

, DataTimes MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.