Children Need Guidelines

This month on TV, I watched Jessica Dubroff prepare to set a record as the youngest person to fly an airplane across the country. I then watched the aftermath as her mother proclaimed that her daughter had died in a state of joy and that she would never have deprived her of the experience.

It also was reported that Jessica had no limits such as bedtime or mealtime and was never given toys or children’s books. Her mother said she wanted Jessica to grow up without fear.

As a teenager in the 1960s, I was a member of the Wenatchee Youth Circus which featured a high wire, flying trapeze, jugglers, fire eaters, clowns and everything found in a big circus except for the animals.

In lieu of a paycheck, we were rewarded with travel from towns like Sunnyside, Wash., to cities like Spokane, to the metropolis of Los Angeles. We learned the value of hard work as we set up and tore down the circus in each new town.

The circus was comprised of children from 2 (usually dressed as clowns who climbed out of the clown car) to 18.

Paul Pugh, a junior high school principal in Wenatchee, founded the circus. He had very strict rules and guidelines for the circus members.

We had a curfew, a bed time, meal times and practice time. Each Sunday we had ring curb prayer service. We had time to sightsee in the towns we visited and we had more chaperones than any teenager ever wants. Although many of the children performed dangerous acts, there was always strict adherence to Mr. Pugh’s rules and guidelines.

When I heard that Jessica’s mom wanted her to grow without fear and therefore, it seems, without boundaries, I remembered a discussion between Mr. Pugh and the kids who performed on the flying trapeze.

These very talented performers asked if they could perform without a net. Mr Pugh told them that if they could do the act with a net, they could do it without a net. They didn’t need to risk their lives to prove they could fly. The only possible reason one would prefer to see that act without a net would be to watch what happened when the fliers failed. The fliers kept the net.

I wish there were more parents who, while allowing their children to fly, kept the net. Children need the safety of order, guidelines and rules. And children need to be loved for who they are, not for the records they might break or the headlines they might make.