It Simply Isn’t An Issue In Their Vitalogy Classes

Pearl Jam is definitely in denial.

First, the Seattle rockers refuted reports that they’re planning to tour with Neil Young this summer.

Now they’re nixing the “news” that the band backs a campaign by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals to free the frogs.

PETA promised free music and Eddie Vedder autographs to the first 50 students who submitted petitions protesting frog dissections in high school biology classes.

Said a spokesman: “What the band wants to make clear is that whether you decide to save the frogs or dissect them, do it because you are making your own informed choice, not because someone told you to do it (or) you thought Pearl Jam was doing it (or) you thought you could get a free CD.”

Loose talk

Susan Olsen, on playing Cindy in the “Brady Bunch” TV series: “Even when I was a kid, I thought we were all so geeky. I went to public school, and people would come up to me and say, ‘The Partridge Family’s cool. The Bradys are nerds.”’

And maybe, someday, someone will find a cure

Antonin Scalia turns 59 today.

Next up: Megadeth doing an anthrax benefit

Surprised to see speed-metal demons Anthrax headlining a Sunday concert in Los Angeles to benefit an AIDS organization? “We’re all human beings, and some people have more compassion than others,” said lead guitarist Scott Ian. “That shouldn’t have anything to do with the type of music you make.”

But for his band, fame is merely a mirage

Listen up, Eddie: Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher has the proper perspective on the music biz. “I can’t stand sniveling rock stars who complain about being famous,” he told Entertainment Weekly. “Why not just work at a car wash or a McDonald’s? There’s no point in starting a band unless you want to be famous.”

For the other side, here’s Courtney Love

Cranberries lead singer Dolores O’Riordan certainly doesn’t take her job lightly. “For me, you can’t be a big fat pig up there, slovenly and singing croaky and whatnot,” she says in Rolling Stone magazine. “You have to work.”

It promises to be an all-out censory assault

Brace yourself, America: With “Saturday Night Live” inching ever closer toward death, CBS is said to be chatting up radio shock jock Howard Stern about doing a competing late-night television show.

Cheaters never win, but they sure smile a lot

Heather Locklear (“Melrose Place”), on her ex-husband, Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, and his blushing bride, “Baywatch” babe Pamela Anderson: “I wish Tommy a lot of luck with his new marriage, but I wish Pam even more. He cheated on me the entire time we were married and he’s going to do the same thing to Pam.”

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Rick Bonino