Cheap Seats

Those sophisticated New York fans

Golfer Chip Beck was headed to the first tee at Shinnecock Hills Golf Club for a practice round before last week’s U.S. Open when he was hailed by a guy with a 2-day-old beard.

“Yo, Chip,” the fan said. “Gonna shoot a 59 today?” Replied Beck, who scored 59 in a 1991 round in Las Vegas, “I don’t need one on Tuesday.”

See Cecil steal? Cease!

Cecil Fielder is now a true lead-foot legend, having played in the 1,000th game of his baseball career - a career that has yet to include a stolen base.

And yet that best-ever streak nearly came to an end in a series against the White Sox, when first-base coach Gene Roof mistakenly thought he saw a hit-and-run sign and sent a mildly surprised Fielder toward second. White Sox catcher Ron Karkovice, who has thrown out more than 40 percent of base stealers in his career, threw out the two-ton Tiger easily.

“A great slide,” said Fielder.

At one point, Fielder had vowed to get a steal before Game 1,000. Eventually, though, he determined he’d rather have the dubious distinction - or, quite possibly, that he just wasn’t going to sweat actually trying.

“Just take off,” advised Detroit teammate Juan Samuel. “Maybe the catcher will have a heart attack.”

Or maybe Cecil could generate extra motivation if he envisioned second base as dinner.

My left feet

Lynn Nelson has been one of America’s top runners for a decade, but “Runner’s World” magazine reports the 1988 Olympic Trials 10,000-meter winner can add another record to her resume. Last April, she finished the Carlsbad 5,000 road race in 16 minutes, 28 seconds - wearing two left shoes. Asked why she didn’t wear her training shoes (of which she had a left and a right), Nelson said, “Anyone could do that.”

Big Wave Davis

Only from the mind of a disc jockey. All last week, Steve Davis of WGEE-FM in Green Bay did a one-man wave in 58,282-seat Lambeau Field - moving from seat to seat, standing and flinging his arms in the air, sitting down and then scooting over.

At $1 per seat, Davis hoped to raise money to educate city police officers about gang violence. The Fifty Yard Line Sports Bar brought Davis three meals a day and he took 5-hour sleep breaks each night on an air mattress and two stretchers pushed together in the first-aid room.

“The stadium tour groups just love him,” said Mark Kanz of the Packers. “They shake their heads at first, but after they find out, they think it’s neat.”

Us, too. The perfect wave is one in an empty stadium.

As long as he brings his own glove

Infielder Chris Donnels, picked up by the Boston Red Sox from Houston last week, was assigned jersey No. 6. The last Red Sox player to wear that number was Bill Buckner.

The last word …

“There are lots of peaks and valleys in this game. We’re in a valley - Death Valley.”

- Kirby Puckett of the Minnesota Twins, who have the worst record in baseball

, DataTimes