Hertz Pays High Price For Selling Self To Game After 15 Years, Gu Baseball Coach Has Appetite For Healthier Lifestyle
Just a couple of months ago, Gonzaga University baseball coach Steve Hertz knew he wasn’t his normal self when he found himself driving along Interstate 90 at a speed of just 35 mph, with no destination in mind.
“I think I was close to having a mental breakdown,” Hertz said. “It really scared me, and I remain scared by it.”
Hertz was recently forced to admit to himself that he is not Superman. It was a tough admission to make.
In the past year, many high-profile collegiate and professional coaches have had to step away from the games they love because of health problems.
And while Hertz isn’t in the national media spotlight, and the expectations for Gonzaga baseball aren’t the same as for some programs, Hertz, a 15-year coach at GU, has always treated his program as if it were life and death.
Early this season, Hertz began experiencing chest pain. It scared him, but he tried to ignore it.
He missed two games in a tournament in Fresno, Calif., in mid-March because of a virus.
“When he called me and told me he missed a couple of games, that’s when I realized he had reached a new low,” Hertz’s wife, Vicki, said. “He had been through some tough times, but he always managed to see his way through them. Not being in the dugout - that was big.”
When the Zags returned home for a tournament later that month, Hertz was still going at a mile-a-minute pace.
“There were times in the day when I would just become completely disoriented. I would be in the middle of a sentence, and then all of a sudden, nothing would come out. I was trying to talk, but I physically couldn’t open my mouth.”
Then it became difficult for Hertz to sit through games.
“I just wanted to find my bed and go to sleep and not dream about baseball,” he said. “My mind was just shutting off.”
Hertz finally called his doctor, but after 10 days of electrocardiograms, treadmills and blood tests, all examinations proved negative. So Hertz left Spokane to join his team in Pullman for a doubleheader against Washington State. Hertz reached Spangle before experiencing the worst chest pains yet.
His body temperature soared, he couldn’t see straight, there was an irritating hum in his head, and for a split second, which he said felt like a lifetime, he couldn’t remember where he was.
He pulled off to the side of the road and gathered himself as best he could before going back to Spokane.
Hertz, 44, finally realized that his body had had enough.
It needed a break from the long hours, the road trips and the fast food he kept putting in his 6-foot-1, 270-pound frame.
“I didn’t want to talk about it. I just wanted to hide. This wasn’t supposed to be happening to Steve Hertz. I didn’t want the younger coaches and athletes to see that I had mentally and physically hit the limit. I’m one the guys who’s supposed to have it together. It was tough for me to accept.”
From there, Vicki and the Hertz’s six children set out to make life as comfortable as possible for dad.
“At that time, Steve needed his privacy,” Vicki said. “He’s a very private man in a very public position.”
But now Hertz is willing to talk. He said it even feels good talking about the tough period because it serves as a reminder of what he doesn’t want to go through ever again.
Hertz’s doctors still say there is nothing medically wrong, but those tests aren’t capable of measuring an individual’s mental health.
Like most people who do too much, for all of his life, Hertz had always done more for others than he’s done for himself.
With two parents whom he described as, “the consummate givers,” Hertz has lived his life believing that if he did something for himself, then that meant he was selfish.
“I don’t want to say no, and I want to do things the right way,” he said.
Hertz also believes that the way he typically responded to defeats over the course of the years may have played a role in his health problems.
Vicki agreed.
“After a loss, you could see his face saying, ‘I’m so sorry, world, that I’ve let you down.”’ she said. “Steve doesn’t coach with winning as the central focus; his players are.
“After a loss, he felt like he had let them down. And if the team wins, his attitude was: ‘Well, I did my job.’ His emotions ran from the steady to the low.”
Hertz is trying to change that.
“I’m just re-learning how to do a lot of things. I’m finally realizing that I’ve got to be good to myself if I want to stay alive.”
And part of being good to himself also means changing his diet. It’s proved to be quite a challenge.
“I love to eat, and I love food,” Hertz admitted. “I look forward to every meal, and I once looked forward to eating as much as I could at every meal.”
Not anymore.
“It’s really tough for me to eat the right foods. I could always go for a double cheeseburger with a mountain of fries and another cheeseburger to wash it all down.”
On a strict diet, Hertz has lost 15 pounds in the past month. He realizes, however, that he’s taken mere infant steps on a long-term recovery program.
If it comes down to making a decision between coaching baseball and his family, Hertz said he would take the good health and his family in a heartbeat.
“He’s getting lots of love and kisses from all of us. He seems to be so much better,” Vicki said.
And Hertz said he’s feeling better.
“I’ve been really shaken and humbled by this. I’m still dealing with it.”
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