Kevin’s Concerned That His Film’s Not Seaworthy

By now, you’ve probably heard the advance word about Kevin Costner’s new movie, “Waterworld.” Overbudget, overblown, overheated, overhyped.

Unfair? Maybe. But the effort to make the film work appears to be wearing down its producer-star. How did he look at a top-secret preview screening in Dallas?

“I think the best way to describe him was that he looked very concerned,” said Elyce Franks, one of the audience members. “His hair was a little shaggy and he was wearing glasses.”

And what did Franks think of the movie? “The budget shows on screen,” she said. “The sets and special effects were terrific, and men liked it better than women. But right now the movie runs about two hours and 45 minutes, and we had definite ideas on how it could be cut.”

Loose talk

Marisa Tomei, actually admiring the 20 pounds she put on to play her role in the film “The Perez Family”: “I think there’s something really beautiful and luscious about the roundness.”

If he wrote a romance, would he call it ‘Lonesome Love’?

Larry McMurtry turns 59 today.

But remember: She’s doing it for our own good

Here’s one from the I-have-permission-to-be-a-jerk file: “I do seem to be getting blunter,” says actress Kathleen Turner. “I’m worse and worse at my own daily lying. I used to be good at it. But now I think it’s best to be blunt. I tell people not to take it personally, just because I think they look like a dog and need a haircut.”

So which Kennedy do you think was on her A list?

Speaking of Kevin Costner, sort of, the movie star was mentioned in a book-publishing proposal put forward by former Beverly Hills madam Heidi Fleiss. Fleiss, who is facing a three-year sentence, has vowed to name her clients. “Want an idea of the kind of major Hollywood celebrities I serviced?” she wrote to one publisher. “Put it this way - Kevin Costner was on my C list.”

Guess we don’t have to wonder what he had for breakfast

Protesters wearing Sinn Fein ribbons threw eggs at Prince Charles, who was paying an official visit to Dublin on Thursday. Charles, who is the first Brit-royal to official visit Dublin since 1922, wasn’t hit.

Having played the role himself, he knew how things ended

One report has movie/stage star Keanu Reeves attending the New York production of “Hamlet” that stars movie/stage actor Ralph Fiennes. The same report has Reeves leaving at intermission.

He put that on his application for ‘The Dating Game’

So why isn’t Larry King going through with his plans to marry exactress Deanna Lund? Maybe the talkman himself puts it best. “I’m not good at marriage,” he says, “but I’m a great boyfriend.”

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