Tough Rules Pay Off For Winning Moms

Back in September, I announced Rosemond’s Laid-Back Mom of the Year Awards as follows: “Entrants must describe in 250 words or less how they avoid getting caught up in the rat-race of contemporary mothermania and manage to rear enjoyable, independent children who do their own homework, entertain themselves, brush their own teeth, and so on.” By the Nov. 1 deadline, I’d received more than 1,000 entries.

All of the letters were good, and every single one of you moms who entered deserves a week’s vacation in Tahiti. Ah, but certain considerations limit me to selecting 11 winners, 10 of whom will receive my desktop calendar, “A Daily Guide to Parenting.” The grand prize, all six of my books, will go to The Most Laid Back Mom of All.

The first 10 winners, in no particular order, are:

Teresa Schnitzler of West Salem, Wis., who says she took her doctor’s advice (“This child came into your life, not you into hers. Once you’ve taken care of her basic needs, let her be.”) to heart and is constantly told her 9-year-old daughter is responsible, respectful and selfsufficient. As they say, the proof is in the pudding.

Debbie Schwartzel of Somewhere USA (Debbie, we misplaced your return address, so come on down to claim your book!), who has let her children know she’s not at their beck and call, doesn’t tolerate disrespect, is not a homework assistant and is not a maid. Her children have benefited accordingly.

Michelle Delp of East Greenville, Pa., who expects her kids to help with chores, will not race back to school to retrieve forgotten homework and responds to mentions of Power Rangers with an evil eye.

Rhonda Oglesby of Baton Rouge, La., whose children do their own homework, sleep in their own beds, and write their own thank-you notes. Furthermore, “Let Me Entertain You” is not Rhonda’s theme song.

Rosemary Forrest of Augusta, Ga., who read to her children a lot early on and whose children later occupied themselves by reading. Both of Rosemary’s “never underfoot” kids are good students and a joy to be around.

Glenda Williams of Birmingham, Ala., whose children accept she’s not a rescuer, referee, entertainer, short-order cook or servant. Rather, they have a mom who gives lots of hugs, but little slack.

Carol Hamilton of Cary, N.C., who lets her children make mistakes (so they learn from them) and guides three elementary-age boys with good old-fashioned common sense. Is there anything else?

Mary Ridder of Callaway, Neb., whose maxims for motherhood are: 1) I’m not raising children, I’m raising future adults; and 2) I went to school, had my problems, now it’s your turn. I’ll love you, correct you, and cheer you, but this is your life and you must live it. Right on, Mary!

Linda Stauffer of Huntsville, Ala., who has three maxims of her own: 1) I am in charge, 2) I am not your friend, and 3) No one is responsible for your behavior but you. Her two teenage boys aren’t perfect, Linda says, but they are respectful and responsible. Good enough!

Paula Kane of Aiken, S.C. Paula’s five children (ages 13 to 4) wake themselves in the morning, fix their own breakfasts (since toddlerhood), do their own homework without prompting or help, and even run laps around the house if they disturb her peace, which isn’t often, I’d guess.

And now (drum roll) The Most Laid-Back Mom of All Award goes to Lynn Crawford of High Point, N.C., who simply wrote: “Because I said so!” After all, a better method of raising independent children has never been discovered.

Bravo! to you all. Your peers may think you’re somewhat out-of-step, but I think you’re just grand. And so, I venture to say, will your children. Keep up the good work!

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = John Rosemond Charlotte Observer