What She's Having: The romantic-comedy born from divorce

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Vanity Fair called it “a romantic comedy for grown-ups.” the BBC says it’s “the greatest romcom of all time.”

“When Harry Met Sally ...,” starring Meg Ryan, Billy Crystal and Carrie Fisher and directed by Rob Reiner, opened in theaters nationwide 35 years ago Sunday.

Despite going up against a number of summer blockbusters that year — “Batman,” “Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade” — the movie was a hit. Evidently, audiences just wanted their romantic comedies the way they wanted them ...

Sitcom star-turned-movie director Rob Reiner was married to Penny Marshall — also a sitcom star who became a director — for 10 years. That marriage ended in 1981. Reiner struggled with returning to the world of dating.

When he met writer Nora Ephron in the mid-1980s, Reiner pitched a number of movie ideas to her, including one based on his relationship troubles. Ephron became intrigued and conducted extensive interviews with Reiner and his pal, actor Nilly Vrystal, and developed a script about a man and women who meet and don’t particularly like each other at first but then fall in love over the course of a dozen or so years.

Ephron wanted to call the screenplay “How They Met,” but Reiner and his producer also considered “Just Friends,” “Playing Melancholy Baby,” “Boy Meets Girl,” “Blue Moon,” “Words of Love,” “It Had To Be You” and “Harry, This Is Sally.”

Reiner interviewed dozens of married couples about their own falling-in-love stories to use in the film. The stories were real. But he hired actors to retell the stories.

In order to compete with the huge slate of 1989’s summer blockbusters, Columbia Pictures released “When Harry Met Sally ...” in only a few theaters on July 14 and then put it into wide release a week later. The New York Times complained the movie was an “amazingly hollow film.” Roger Ebert called it “most conventional.”

Making of The Ultimate 'Rom-Com'

Tom Hanks was offered the part of Harry but turned it down, saying the film was “too lightweight.” Michael Keaton, Albert Brooks and Harrison Ford were also considered. Reiner gave the role to his old friend Billy Crystal. The bit where Harry grosses out Sally by spitting grape seeds — out a closed car window — was improvised by Crystal.

Reiner pursued Susan Dey, Elizabeth McGovern and Molly Ringwald for the part of Sally. Meg Ryan — who had never before played the lead character in a movie — convinced Reiner to give her a chance. The scene in the Shakespeare and Co. bookstore would later inspire Ephron to write “You’ve Got Mail,” which would also star Ryan.

At one point, Harry and Sally attempt to evade their growing feelings for one another by setting each other up with their best friends: Marie and Jess — played by Carrie Fisher and Bruno Kirby. The ploy backfires, as Marie and Jess fall for each other instead and eventually get married. Kirby would go on to appear in Crystal’s 1991 movie, “City Slickers.”

The script called for Sally and Harry to have lunch in a crowded New York deli while discussing women who fake their orgasms. Ryan came up with the idea of Sally faking a big “O” in front of the other diners. And then Crystal came up with the punch line, said by woman at a nearby table: “I’ll have what she’s having.” That woman was played by Reiner’s own mother, Estelle.

The four-way phone conversation — an homage to the 1959 Rock Hudson and Doris Day film “Pillow Talk” — was filmed with three cameras but with all four actors working simultaneously on three adjacent sets. They used a working phone line to make sure their dialogue was properly synchronized. It took them 61 takes before they nailed the scene.

The original script called for Harry and Sally to go their separate ways. During production, however, Reiner fell in love with photographer Michele Singer and opted for a more upbeat ending. Crystal improvised much of his declaration of love to Sally at the New Year’s Eve party: “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

Films Directed By Rob Reiner

Sources: Internet Movie Database, Academy Museum of Motion Pictures, American Film Institute, the Washington Post, the New York Times, BBC, Vanity Fair, Good Housekeeping, the Harvard Crimson, Deadline Hollywood, E! News, Mental Floss Photos of Reiner and Ephron from Wikimedia Commons. All others from Columbia Pictures.