Specifically, baby mouse wine.

It's been several years since I last left South Korea, but I still hold a high and consistent, if not overly detached pride, for my now-thriving homeland.  Less than a century ago, the Korean peninsula was being ravaged by Japanese rule and warfare, infamously splitting into two and arriving at a still unstable peace with the armistice between the North and the South.  Until the late 80's, it was under dictatorial rule, and of course in 1990, bore the undesirable responsibility of bringing me into the world.

Simply stated, despite currently having an incredible advantage of Western support and economic success over its northern brother--who, despite sharing culture, blood, and language with the South has been dealt so poor a hand by fate and atrociously fascist rule that it has officially been declared a "failed state" by Fund for Peace--South Korea has not had it easy.  Despite my inherent pride as a native, I have loved the nation much like I love America: unconditionally and with empathy, but with the cynicism, disappointment, and criticism that any non-Utopian society inevitably inspires in me.

The reasons are the same for either country.  Materialism, conformity, anti-intellectualism, and a corny, toned-down Americanization are all prominent in my childhood memories of South Korea.  It is, really, the epitome of my traditionally Korean mother's philosophy on life: "You go Ivy-League school, you be doctor or lawyer, you make million dollars, you marry pretty woman, you buy nice house, you drive nice car, or else I won't love you."  And this was my view,  however superficially arrived at, of the entire South Korean culture.

How delighted I am, then, to see what is becoming of Korea.  Of course, it is quite the economic superpower, Hyundai and Samsung among the international monoliths of their corporate kin.  But aside from that, it is becoming culturally aware.   But there is one thing for which my culture is responsible that is so thoroughly and uniquely reprehensible that all of my optimism may as well have never risen at all.

Baby Mouse Wine.  Yes, that is exactly what it sounds like, and yes, it is possible.  Baby Mice, fermented in large packs for about a year and tossed into jugs for the sake of inebriation.  Despite being used as a supposed medicine throughout Korea, it seems more along the lines of a beverage designed for sadists and masochists, people who think along the lines of, "how can I make myself suffer, while knowing that a tiny animal had to suffer in order for me to suffer?" Someone willing to digest other disgusting results of the foreign food market such as Balut, Pacha, Monkey Brain, and Lutefish (which you will need to google, as I am ethically opposed to revealing them on this blog, though monkey brain is rather self-explanatory). 

If I were dared, offered a large cash sum and a long-term relationship with Angelina Jolie, I would still be reluctant to put a drop of this stuff inside of me.  Just looking at it hurts.

Remembering that this is not actually an accurate representation of the every Korean ever, just as dog-eating and phallic insufficiency are not, tell me: would you consider, on a strong enough dare, to allow this stuff into your stomach?

Squeak.

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