Obscure World News of the Week
The world record for world's largest sandwich was attempted in the Iranian capital of Tehran, to be recorded by Guinness World Record officials and be set for display in a park.
And then anarchy took hold.
Like savages, the mob of observers devoured the sandwich without allowing the three present Guinness officials the chance to record the pivotal event. Despite arduously packing this 1,500 meter-long wich with 1400 total kilograms of ostrich and chicken meat, the work proved to be of little avail; no official record has been made of the sandwich's size. Iran's only chance at fame now lies in the sole piece of evidence to the food item's girth: a piece of video footage which stands a slight chance of being accepted as proof enough to stabilize the world record.
It is yet to be seen whether or not a feature film will be made about the event, though if I were a maker of the sandwich, I'd be sending a few letters the way of old George Romero.
Ah, well. That's the way the cookie crumbles.
Get it?
Zombie-like Iranian man seen here in mid-destruction of Iran's moment of glory