I was 11 and a confirmed bachelor when "The Newlywed Game" first went on the air.

But I knew how I would beat the system if I got married in grade school and somehow found myself on that show. My young wife and I would simply agree upon some predetermined answers. Then, no matter what we were asked, we would be in sync. We would roll up the score.

"Paul, what will your wife say is the most unusual place the two of you have made whoopie?"

"'In the Mood' by the Glenn Miller orchestra, Bob."

Eventually, years later, I became aware that practically everybody had that same idea. I suppose the producers of the show told prospective contestants "Don't even think about it."

Too bad. Would have been fun.

"Beth, what will Paul say is the one thing about your family that really drives him crazy?"

"Argentina, Bob."

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