UncleBob Offers 9% Tithing

UncleBob (RE: Wallace Street prayer miffs Bond, David Bond ): You should join my religion: The 1st Church of Bob of Latter Day Bakers and Brewmasters. We have cookies AND beer, and this month only we are offering an introductory 9% monthly tithing rate for the first year. Not only will you experience a significant savings annually, we play only classic rock and carefully selected folk and bluegrass music over our P.A. system during our annual 1/2 hour gatherings.

Question: If you conjured your own church, how would it differ from the mainstream ones found in this country?