I'll tell you a secret, if you don't rat me out to CdA Parks Director Doug Eastwood and his wife, Dee. I enjoyed their daughter Valerie's wedding reception at the Greenbriar Inn on Saturday. But I didn't officially attend her wedding. Remember that "My Fair Lady" song – "Get Me to the Church on Time"? I didn't make it. The wedding was at 6 p.m. An hour earlier and 15 miles away, I was at Rolane Hopper's Vintage Barn Antique Show, near Garwood School, loading my wife's Shabby Chic goods into a U-Haul. (Aside: I knew I'd entered an Estrogen Zone earlier when I heard one woman say to another: "I just spent $250 on two booths. What am I going to tell my husband?") My wife did well at the show. So there wasn't as much to haul back. Still, it took 45 minutes to load the van. I figured I could shower and sneak into the back of the church before the rice flew. All was going according to plan when we arrived at the church 40 minutes after the wedding march, except there was only one car in the lot. Moments later, after my wife and I rushed home to double check the time and date, we learned the wedding had lasted only 18 minutes. Jack and Candy Smetana caught us sneaking into the reception at the Greenbriar, pretending we were legitimate witnesses. I'm coming clean here because my conscience is acting up. However, I didn't feel guilty enough Saturday to stop from going back for seconds on the stuffed mushrooms.

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