Not so long ago, Russian armored carmaker Dartz cancelled plans to include whale-penis leather interior in their Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition, due largely in part to complaints from Pamela Anderson and PETA. Now Dartz has built a “Penisguard” Volga, presumably to celebrate their newfound love of whale-penis brought about by Anderson.

For some reason, the customized car is outfitted with a shark snout and tail, and an ass-view painting of Anderson in her classic Baywatch swimsuit, beside which is written, “Penisguard”. A sailor hat perched atop the roof reads “WHALEWATCH”. 

Below is the actual press release (seriously): 

WHALE PENIS ON WHEELS RETURNS. IT'S BULLETPROOF.

NOT INSIDE – BUT OUTSIDE.

Thanks Pamela Anderson all world whales now can be sure about their penises. Nobody will cut them to make car seats.

Regarding that Whales make an ocean summit were they make a decision to make WHALE-THANKS-GIVING-CAR.

And they order to make this car to DARTZ – team which shocked whales with seats idea.

Of course this is just joke, but after SAVE the WALES wave DARTZ make a decision to make own SAVE the WALES show car.

This car was made from the same kevlar fiber we use for our car bulletproofing – so we can tell that whale on hood is also bulletproof.

Our guys work two weeks around the clock to make this show car, we stopped some works with our RED DIAMOND (which is already booked) as we are funny people – and sometimes stop to make serious things, making some funny things instead. We are not serious professionals in fish world – all we know that caviar is good with Vodka – but we think this hood whale is a copy of Blue Wale – which have biggest penis on planet Earth.

We will be happy to present this car to Pam Am – she can use it…. like she want's :-) .

But more we dreaming to make a photosession with our Luxury Tank and Pam, under motto

I'D RATHER DRIVE NAKED THAN ON WHALE PENIS :-) ))))…….

We can make this session at Top Marques Monaco 2010 or Cannes Festival 2010 were we also are planning to present this car – and of course present Pam WHALEWATCH car after photosession!

- Leonard F. Yankelovich (1)

If you find this at all confusing or hard to believe, be sure to read up on the whole story here:

http://motorspacenw.com/member/blogentry.php?b=742&u=144&page=0

And: 

http://motorspacenw.com/member/blogentry.php?b=720&u=144&page=0

Sources/Picture: 

(1) http://jalopnik.com/5422729/dartz-car-commemorates-pamela-anderson-russian-suv-whale-penis-scandal

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