Dear Annie: Daughter invites bad ex-boyfriend on birthday vacation
Dear Annie: My daughter broke up with her boyfriend several months ago. She just recently hooked back up with him. Needless to say, I don’t like him. He is spoiled and rude.
The family was planning a trip for her birthday and she asked if a female friend could come. I told her that would be OK. Now she is telling me that her girlfriend can’t come and that her ex-boyfriend can take her friend’s plane ticket. I told her if he goes, I’ll stay home because I do not want to be around him. She knew this before inviting him to go on the trip. I openly told this to her.
Now, my daughter is telling me that she originally invited him to go on this trip if her friend decided not to go. She says I’m being mean and causing her to choose between him and me! I tried to explain to her that I don’t want her to choose and that she already knew how I felt about the whole situation. She still insists I am driving a wedge between us.
I’m not sure what to do – either stick to my original decision, as I truly don’t like him, or try to put up with him for the five days we will be on our trip so I can try to enjoy what little time I’ll get with her since her ex will be there and he does not like to be around me or my daughter’s brother. What should I do? I love her, but I don’t like him. – Unhappy Mom
Dear Unhappy Mom: Difficult as it might be to feign excitement with this man tagging along, the only person who loses out by not going on this trip is you. As much as you don’t like him or the situation, you’ll likely feel worse if you don’t go and miss out on celebrating your daughter’s birthday.
Do your best to be cordial and enjoy the time with her and the rest of your family. If she decides she wants to be with this man again long term, you will have to figure out a way to accept their relationship as best you can for as long as they are together. If you don’t, I fear you will only continue to lose more and more of your daughter.
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