Michael Roos-led ‘Cooked As A Goat’ a mass of humanity

Michael Roos and his Cooked As A Goat teammates made a pact Saturday morning before Hoopfest tipped off.

No jumping.

“It’s not really a rule by us – it’s the law of gravity,” the sizeable and former Eastern Washington University and Tennessee Titan standout offensive lineman said.

Cooked As A Goat was made up of former linemen. Joining Roos was former Tennessee Titan teammate Mike Otto, who along with Roos is retired, and former EWU linemen Jeff Christiansen and Paul Terrell.

“We’ve got to be pushing the record for most weight on a team,” Terrell said, laughing.

Christiansen packs the most on his frame with 340 pounds, followed by Otto (300), Roos (280) and Terrell (230). That’s 1,150 pounds combined.

They should have another rule – never get on the same elevator.

Roos thought they’d have an advantage.

“Hopefully we have the intimidation factor,” Roos said.

Outweighing their opponents by at least 650 pounds, Cooked As A Goat succumbed to No D 20-10 on Sprague between the Knitting Factory and Spokesman-Review buildings.

But Roos and Company bounced back in the loser’s bracket, winning three in a row including a hard fought 20-18 decision over GU Noonballers.

That victory sets up a rematch Sunday morning against No D. Tipoff is at 8:30.

Roos said the idea of forming a Hoopfest team was hatched last fall. Terrell said the foursome practiced together when he and Christiansen visited Nashville, Tennessee, residents Roos and Otto over Memorial Day Weekend.

With the anticipated high temperatures, Roos was wondering if it was a bad idea.

The players wore their lineman numbers on their shirts – Roos (71) and Otto (66) their numbers from Tennessee, Christiansen (73) and Terrell (76) their numbers from EWU.

They got the name for their team from a trip they took to Limerick, Ireland.

“We take an annual trip to Ireland over St. Paddy’s,” Terrell said. “We were in a pub and there was this guy who was well intoxicated. He was on the phone trying to explain to somebody how intoxicated he was, telling him ‘I’m cooked as a goat’. It was so funny we adopted it as our Hoopfest name.”

Cooked As A Goat was hoping to use its weight as an advantage. But right out of the gate ran into a team that could shoot and avoid the typical physicality that is part and parcel of Hoopfest.

Don’t for a moment think these football players were just a bunch of mules with no athleticism. They each played basketball in high school.

Roos, 34, has been out of the NFL for two seasons. He and Otto flew in Thursday, and the group played 36 holes of golf on Friday – at Qualchan and Kalispell Country Club.

“Our goal is to have a good time,” Christiansen said.

They wore coordinated black shorts, red head bands, tops with the word ‘Goat’ with an upside down goat and red on black socks with what Otto described as a “tribal tattoo-looking goat” outlined in red.

They had the size of their jersey tops on the bottom left side. Roos and Otto wore 3XLs and Christiansen had a 4XL.

“They fit nice but run small in size,” Christiansen quipped.

It wasn’t Roos’ first Hoopfest. He used to play with friends while attending EWU.

Otto said the team found a groove and set up a strategy after the opening loss.

“Once you get going you get into a flow,” Otto said. “That team we lost to was very good. They’re a bunch of ex-college basketball players.”

The specific strategy adjustment was trying to pound it inside to take advantage of their girth. It worked.