There’s more to college life than what the campus tour tells you

The earnest college student pointed to yet another beautiful brick building and took a breath before launching into her talking points, from the research and learning that takes place in its space to the donated dollars that made it all possible.

Like a cherry and chocolate sprinkles on ice cream, she’d conclude the miniature marketing spiel by topping it with a trivial tidbit about the building’s beginnings or an anecdotal nugget of student life that happened in its hallowed halls.

Or, at least I assume that’s how it ended before she began walking backward toward our next destination – another beautiful brick building.

By this point her lilting voice penetrated my consciousness about as well as Charlie Brown’s teacher.

After enough of them, campus tours start sounding the same no matter how energetic and engaging the student guide dispensing an approved message meant to entice potential applicants and their parents with a mix of stories and statistics about campus life and learning.

My attention came crashing back when another mom on the tour gasped and threw out an arm. “Watch out!” she said. “Pole.”

Our nervous guide stopped, her back millimeters from a bruising blow with a restricted parking sign.

Since someone else was so ably acting as the eyes our guide didn’t have in the back of her head, my attention wandered again until she said, “Oh. The meat lab is in the basement, so if you want some meat …”

She left the sentence hanging, and I wondered if she meant it as a suggestion or a warning. Was the meat lab a good place to buy lean, inexpensive meat that’s been tested for salmonella?

I caught my son’s eye and snickered quietly but didn’t raise my hand to ask how much per pound the meat costs, if there’s a student discount or if it comes with barbecue sauce.

With my oldest in college and my second child applying to schools this fall, I’ve been on a lot of campus tours in the last few years. When paying attention, here’s what I’ve learned:

Walking backwards is hazardous and inefficient.

A lot of schools have quirky to-do lists for students, like climbing to a giant letter on a hill above campus, or catching a dropping pine cone midair. I don’t believe these are graduation requirements.

Some current college students still really like Harry Potter. A lot. Multiple colleges have clubs formed around fan favorite activities in the book.

Dorms all smell the same after a few years. No amount of new paint and carpet cleaning can cover the cumulative scent of collegians who’ve dined on too much pizza, beer and dining hall fare. The one exception was Coughlin Hall at Gonzaga, but it’s new and barely resembles the cramped quarters most of us associate with residence hall living. Give it time. In a few years I’m sure it will emit the subtle stench of dorm funk.

There’s always something to do, see or study.

The campus tour will give a lot of information. Most of it is completely useless to provide insight about how well you’d like living there. It may help you avoid getting lost if you attend, but it isn’t going to give you news you can use to make an educated decision about where to further your education.

The tour won’t tell you:

How much debt you’re going to have when you graduate. You need to compare cost of attendance and financial aid offers to know this number. No college decision is informed without it.

Which dorms are the party dorms or what the party-to-study ratio is for each dorm. You’ll need to ferret out this information from students, recent graduates, coaches or professors. Ask enough of them and you’ll probably notice some trends, whether for a particular dorm or an entire campus.

Whether you’ll get a good job when you graduate. If you know your intended major, you might find this information on the college website or learn the answer when meeting with a department head. Meet the department head. Sometimes they have the inside scoop on scholarships, too.

If you should apply, accept or keep looking for another option.

There’s always another option, whether it’s another college, trade school, working or becoming a basement bum. And every potential post-secondary choice except basement bum has someone lauding it as a stepping stone to success.

Maybe that’s why so many college-bound students seem to agonize over the decision. Or maybe it’s because so far their education has been steeped in high-pressure tests and the accompanying anxiety over earning good enough grades to get academic aid that will offset the skyrocketing cost of college.

Even after narrowing the field based on cost, location, size and course of study a student might struggle to make a decision.

Here’s the thing. There isn’t a perfect choice, only somewhat informed trade-offs. No matter where they go or what they do, the years after high school are full of growth and change as teens turn into adults.

Even when the big decisions, like where to go after high school, can be life changing, it’s the little daily decisions and habits that shape identities and forge futures. Who to hang out with, what to spend time on, what to try or not try, what to value. These choices are what make us no matter how old we are.

Jill Barville writes twice a month about families, life and everything else. She can be reached at jbarville@msn.com.