With Shem, Houston, Bruins no problem

HOUSTON – The jokes about NRG Stadium were reaching roast temperature even before tipoff. How it was a four-dirigible garage. How the Uecker seats were in the next area code. How those black curtains hanging beyond the baskets were actually funeral shrouds for shooters.

Gonzaga assistant coach Tommy Lloyd tried to cut the place down to size with the standby “Hoosiers” reference.

“The rims are still 10 feet,” he said. “We put one of the walk-ons on Przemek’s shoulders with a tape measure.”

And then the rest of the team climbed on Przemek Karnowski’s shoulders, too.

The genial 7-foot-1 giant from Poland has never stood so tall as he did in the 74-62 victory Friday over UCLA in the NCAA South region semifinals that sent the Bulldogs into a giddy group embrace and territory originally mapped 16 years ago but revisited only now.

The Elite Eight.

“Ever since I’ve been here, people have talked about that (1999) team,” said guard Kevin Pangos. “Well, now if people ask about the Elite Eight team, it’s like, ‘Which one?’ So that’s kind of cool.”

Kind of cool?

Well, yeah. Like a behind-the-back Karnowski bounce pass assist for a teammate’s bucket is kind of cool.

Now two of those passes – and a Final Four trip? That would be way cool.

To get there, the Bulldogs will have to get past an old nemesis – Duke – on Sunday at 2:05 p.m. PDT, and possibly past the batter’s-eye nightmare that seems to infect shooters in this tomb, if not all football-stadiums-turned- basketball-gyms.

There is, of course, a simple antidote for that.

“Feed the big fella!” Bill Raftery roared on the CBS broadcast. “You want breakfast? Serve it early!”

Which is exactly what the Zags did after UCLA had cut a seven-point halftime deficit to one in just two minutes.

OK, first Gary Bell Jr. had to convert one of the game’s most critical, and toughest, shots – a floater when he seemed trapped on the baseline, only to have defender Norman Powell sag off, anticipating a pass.

But then the Zags took a tour of Shemworld (trademark pending) and Karnowski showed them the yellow brick road.

He had six points in a 12-0 burst that re-established Zag control, and then he turned it on for the highlight reel: A backhand shovel around a double-team to Domantas Sabonis for a dunk. A fade-away jump hook (!). A no-look behind-the-back whip to Sabonis for a reverse layup. And an exit down the steps off the elevated floor to applause from Zags fans that was probably thunderous, if it hadn’t been swallowed up in NRG’s acoustics.

Six years ago, Karnowski had never heard of March Madness. Now his folks stay up past 1 a.m. wondering why Raftery keeps shouting “Onions!”

“My dad jokes that they live in the American time zone,” Karnowski said.

And en route to 3-of-19 shooting from the arc (amazingly, not even in the Zags’ NCAA bottom three), the Bulldogs came to a realization.

“Przemek’s a force in there,” said Bell, “and Domas playing like that – it’s kind of stupid to keep taking shots when they’re hot.”

In the meantime, the Zags’ defense didn’t take the NRG shooters’ curse for granted chasing Steve Alford’s fellas. They hounded the coach’s kid, Bryce, into a 3-of-11 night, two of those meaningless 3s at the end. Powell did shimmy through for 16 points, but went 12 minutes in the heart of the game without a point.

“Alford is the X factor,” said Zags guard Eric McClellan. “He’s a better shooter than Powell, and 3s add up faster than 2s. If (Alford) gets going, it could have been a different game, so it was our focus to not let him get going.”

The Zags seem to have a different X factor every game – though about the time Karnowski laid the no-lookie on the Bruins, it was clear who it was this night.

“Coach (Donny) Daniels calls him ‘Magic Przemek,’ ” reported Kyle Dranginis.

No wonder.

“He’s underappreciated and undervalued by people outside the program,” Lloyd insisted. “He’s the biggest, strongest guy on the floor every night out. He’s got poise. He can create for himself or others. He’s just a force people have to cope with.”

And what do you know? So are the Zags.

Dissed for repeated first-weekend exits as if that made them radioactive mutants, the Bulldogs have survived the Dexter Werner Experience, run Iowa off the floor and now the Black Hole of Houston. So have they finally got people off their backs?

“I guess we’ll see,” said Pangos. “That’s not for us to decide. That’s for everyone watching. We’re just trying to take care of business here, and people can think whatever they want to think.”

Think? Think everybody had better tune in Sunday afternoon.