Widows Club offers new take on grieving
ORLANDO – Carolyn Moor and her husband were both 36 years old the night he was thrown from his vehicle in a hit-and-run accident that killed him.
It was Valentine’s Day nearly 15 years ago. Suddenly a widow with two young children, Moor joined a support group for that first year of mourning.
She describes what came next as the “nowhere-to-go zone.”
“I lived in that zone for five years, so I know what it feels like to live without support,” said Moor, of Orlando. “It was utter chaos, personally and spiritually.”
Her experience would lead her to become a mentor to others. She began to share her journey – first on TLC’s reality-TV show “Shalom in the Home” and even on “Oprah,” but she also reached out to younger widows.
In 2011, she founded Modern Widows Club, a group based on the notion that within a sisterhood of women ranging in age, belief system and just about everything else, widows can find what they are so often seeking: hope.
“(We) hold that space (of hope) for them until they get their own,” Moor said.
That cyclical process of mentorship is the mainstay of Modern Widows Club, which now has 10 chapters across nine states, including a chapter in Seattle.
“Modern is a state of mind, no matter what your age,” Moor said. “Modern is about today – modern is always the present moment, what is happening right now, not the past, not the future, it’s what is happening right now.”
About two dozen women gradually showed up and mingled on a recent Thursday night amid candles and clusters of hydrangeas that created a cozy ambience in the lobby of First United Methodist Church in downtown Orlando.
“In this situation, our social hours, it’s very organic,” Moor said of the atmosphere that lends itself to mentoring. “I do believe that we’re drawn to certain people, and so we provide that environment for you to actually meet a potential new friend that you never would have thought would understand what you’re saying.”
She said the casual atmosphere takes the pressure off, so widows can bond with other widows and share their stories within their comfort level.
“It’s painful to be here, but it’s also so beautiful, because every time you come here, part of you heals,” said Vashon Sarkisian of Winter Park, Florida.
Some of the women in the group were widowed as recently as just weeks ago
“I have ladies who have waited over a year and a half before they show up,” Moor said.
At the gathering of Modern Widows Club, the formal discussion ends after Sylvia Norman, the bubbly chapter leader, reminds the women to get ice cream.
“You don’t have to do this alone,” Norman said. “It’s as personal as anything ever gets, but you don’t have to do it alone.”