Doug Clark: Local plant aficionado vies for ‘Sexiest Vegan’ title

We journalists pride ourselves on being nonpartisan, except, of course, when we’re not.

Like now, for example.

Objectivity is suspended today so you can join me in casting your vote for Atania Gilmore.

Not to worry. This isn’t about the fall election.

This is far more important than any of that nonsense.

This vote is about civic pride and Spokane’s growing status in the tofu landscape.

Atania Gilmore – and I’m not making this up – is running for the office of …

“Sexiest Vegan Over 50.”

Honest.

The 56-year-old single mother of three is among seven women finalists in this national contest. More importantly, she’s the only candidate from Spokane.

“I figured it might be a bit of fun,” Atania told me during a phone call. “I beat out all of the Seattle vegans, so that has to be worth something.”

Take that, West Side veggies.

(Today is the last day we can vote for Atania at www.PETAPrime.org. There’s a sexiest male vegan category, too, but none of those hunks are from Spokane.)

As you’ve probably guessed, Sexiest Vegan Over 50 is brought to you by PETA, which, of course, stands for “People Eating Tasty Animals.”

Well, it did on this T-shirt that I saw a guy wearing once.

PETA, in fact, stands for “People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals,” an organization infamous for crawling about as far out on the granola-munching fringe as possible. Which is why I wholeheartedly endorse this Sexiest Vegan contest.

It is the most goodhearted PETA promotion that I’ve ever seen.

A quick Internet search for objectionable PETA stunts reveals …

• A PETA exhibit once compared the innocents murdered in the Holocaust to deaths in the poultry industry.

• One of PETA’s “meat is murder” crusades staged a cannibal barbecue, where a human covered in fake gore lay on a grill.

• Apparently disliking dog shows, PETA once compared the American Kennel Club to the KKK.

So when the Sexiest Vegan news release came to me, I wanted to do all I could to encourage such a shockingly acceptable endeavor.

I’m glad I did. Atania struck me as a sharp and charming person.

So why would she want a Sexiest Vegan title?

Hey, I was thinking of eating some lentils and entering when I saw the prizes.

For starters, the winner gets a three-night stay for two at Laguna Lodge, a fancy Guatemalan eco-resort.

There’ll be an L.A. photo shoot, too, along with some other PETA-related swag.

And think of the prestige that Spokane will receive when our tourism and visitor brochures have “Home of the Sexiest Vegan” printed on the covers.

“Near Nature/Near Sexy Vegan” will be our new municipal motto.

Not that Atania is out to prove anything. It was obvious from talking to her that she views this as a lighthearted contest.

For Atania, the vegan lifestyle obviously works.

She’s a black belt in taekwondo, after all, and a trail runner who logs some 25 miles a week.

Going vegan, she explained in the PETA release, “has very much improved my fitness. … Long runs that used to take three days to recover now take one or less. I have an insane amount of energy, rarely get sick, and can run circles around women half my age.”

We’re not so dissimilar, really. I feel the same deep passion for pie.

If only there were a “Sexiest Pastry Glutton over 60” contest, I’d be a lock.

A program manager, Atania dreams of one day opening a cafe featuring vegan dishes and her own dairy-free cheeses that she plans to sell soon in local stores.

I’m not part of her target audience, of course.

I’m a lifelong committed carnivore who never met a pot roast he didn’t swoon over.

Atania, however, made it clear that although she believes strongly in her dietary choices, she doesn’t like to preach.

“I first became vegan for my health and fitness and it certainly improved that, but then I became mindful of the impact of my choices on animals and the health of the environment,” she added.

That said, “it’s a very personal decision, how you eat.”

It is, indeed. And I can vote for that.