Miss Manners: Avoid gift grab with polite RSVP

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Upon opening what I thought would be a wedding invitation from good friends, I found, printed on very nice stationery:

“Our wedding is coming but oh, what dismay.

“The venue is small on our big day!

“Though we can’t squeeze you in during our special hour,

“Would you please come to our wedding shower?”

Underneath is a list of stores where the couple is registered.

How rude and hurtful is this? What a gift grab! I don’t even feel up to making a RSVP.

GENTLE READER: Why, it was just recently that another bridal couple wrote Miss Manners that they were sending “a sweet poem that is nice for asking for cash” with their wedding invitation.

Do we have a trend here? Is the word spreading, in the white tulle set, that crudeness is charming when it is put into rhyme (even if not exactly rhythm)?

However, Miss Manners insists that you reply to the paltry invitation you did get. One rudeness does not excuse another. How about:

“Accepting with pleasure

“A day of leisure (British pronunciation required),

“We wish you the best.

“As you are feted and wed,

“We’ll be home in bed;

“Good luck, and the rest.”

Well, no, not really. Please forgive Miss Manners that lapse and write a simple answer declining the shower invitation.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it OK to give my boyfriend a hint that I want a promise ring for Christmas? He usually gives me money.

GENTLE READER: But did he make you any promises? Or are you just on his payroll?

Miss Manners would think it prudent to establish the sentiment before trolling for the symbol.