The Slice: A discourse with no name

I’m no drama coach. And no one would ever hire me to be a director.

But the phrase that kept coming to mind while listening to phone-message entries in The Slice’s Murray Hamilton line-reading contest was “More intensity.”

Readers reciting lines delivered by the late character actor in films such as “Jaws” and “The Amityville Horror” tended to be, well, a bit lethargic.

Except for one. A contestant re-creating a scene featuring Mr. Hamilton (as Mr. Robinson) and Dustin Hoffman in “The Graduate” all but fried my phone line: “I think you are scum. I think you are filth. You are a DEGENERATE!”

One problem. That guy, the clear winner for best performance, did not leave his name.

And there’s another complication. Maybe that call wasn’t even related to the Murray Hamilton contest. Perhaps it was just frank, constructive feedback on my column.

Let’s move on.

Slice answer: If they could reclaim all the time they spent watching basketball games that have reached that interminable intentional fouls/free throws stage, Patricia Garvin and her friend, Anita, estimate that they would net a rebate of two years.

Movies that have taken the most ridiculous liberties with Inland Northwest geography: “Hard to beat ‘Dante’s Peak’ or ‘Heaven’s Gate,’ ” said Wade Griffith.

Area’s worst card player: “I’d like to nominate, anonymously so as not to cause public embarrassment, my husband,” wrote a reader who has contributed several Slice items. “He has to have the rules of Go Fish explained to him EVERY time he sits down to play with our 6-year-old son. The same is also true for Candy Land and Yahtzee, so this impairment does not appear to be limited to cards. Perhaps he just never developed his ‘game brain.’ ”

Today’s Slice question: Can anything compete with families’ spring-break plans when it comes to emphasizing the difference between this area’s haves and have-nots?