Before you make your honey your roommate, ask yourself these questions, advise Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller, founders of the Alternatives to Marriage Project (unmarried.org) and authors of “Unmarried to Each Other: The Essential Guide to Living Together as an Unmarried Couple” (Da Capo Press, $17.95).
1. How well do you know your partner? Don’t move in when you’re in that head-over-heels state of new love. Wait until the relationship has stood the test of time.
2. Are we on the same page about the reasons we’re moving in together? If one of you sees this as practically an engagement and the other sees it as a way to save on rent, you may be headed for trouble.
3. Do you agree on what the relationship means and where you hope it’s going? Do you both want to marry someday? Do neither of you want to? Do you see cohabitation as a way to help you make the decision? There are no right or wrong answers, but you should know where your partner stands.
4. Have you discussed big issues like commitment, children and the future? If you haven’t even “gone there” yet, you’re moving in way too early.
5. Have you sorted out the nitty-gritty, unromantic aspects of living together? Who will clean the toilets and take out the trash? Is one of you a slob and the other a neat freak? How will you divide the expenses for rent, utilities, food and all the rest?
