Readers ask agnostic to define a God he could believe in

A couple of readers recently asked me to write a column in response to their very good question: “You are clear about the numerous reasons why you don’t believe in God, but we wonder, what would be the characteristics of a God you could/would believe in?”

They’d like me to make it personal, serious, and “no philosophical meanderings” allowed. But, speaking both personally and seriously, I don’t actually know how I can avoid philosophy.

Its purpose, after all, is to answer questions just like that: Who or what is God? Who are we? Do we have a reason for being here, and if so, what the heck is it?

And the existential biggie, the one people turn to religion and God (and drink and drugs and sex and war and politics and poetry) to answer is simply, “Why do we die?” Or, more precisely, “How can I avoid dying?”

Never mind you; it’s fine if you bite it, but not me. Dying, at its core, is always about me. I’m not sure what happens to you, nor do I really care, as compared with me.

My ego, my self is absolutely, well, selfish when it comes to the Big D. I suspect yours is, too, no matter how enlightened or God-loving or God-fearing or faithful or faithless you are.

And – another absolute – it absolutely amazes me that quite a few people condemn my humanistic and a-theistic stance as “soulless.”

I’m concerned about my soul. I’m especially concerned that it dies, part and parcel of my cremated ashes. No egoic afterlife for me, thank you very much. Buh-bye.

More on that, but first a quick aside for those to whom I’m insufficiently Godless: Don’t worry, “a-theism” is inclusive of the word “atheism” as usually used in ordinary language, but it’s more precise.

I simply don’t believe in a personal God and my actual stance, “strong agnosticism,” includes, but is not limited to, normal-language atheism. You can, of course, hammer me on that.

Now, back to the “soul,” and my requirement for a God I could believe in.

A merciful God is first on my list. Namely, one that makes sure dead is dead. Any God who grants – which is to say condemns me to – eternal life, my soul living on forever as me, is a malicious SOB.

My God gives me an embodied soul that dies right along with me. A century sounds about right, and then I’m outa here. Eternal life is the worst hell I can imagine. And I can imagine quite a lot.

Second, justice. I have to have a God who truly is all-powerful and all-good. Any God who intentionally allows the murder of innocents, for example, is either not all-powerful, not all-good, or both: limited and sadistic. That’s a combo I can live without, thank you.

My God, being both good and unlimited, allows us to live happily and in peace. Sorry for all you armchair theologians, and folks who actually like the suffering of others, but a God who tortures doesn’t cut my mustard.

Imagine the worst atrocities dealt by an indifferent world, all the millions who have lived anguished lives, deprived of clean water, adequate food and shelter, or simple nurturance because they were born in the wrong time or place. My God has nothing to do with such dreck.

And those executed by an intentional hand, brutally killed because of the myriad of sick belief systems humans have harbored over the centuries? Burned alive because of a wrong belief?

Not in my God’s creation. I’d be more intelligently, never mind compassionately, designed.