The Slice: Encounter with the ‘Super, Natural’

Today is the anniversary of British Columbia joining the Canadian Confederation in 1871.

To salute our neighbor to the north, The Slice interviewed the “Super, Natural” province. Here is a transcript of that exchange.

Q: Good morning. Thanks for agreeing to do this. OK if I call you BC?

A: Sure. I’m easy. Say, did you know this is also Diana Rigg’s birthday? Remember the first time you saw her in “The Avengers”? Holy moley. That’ll put the British in your Columbia.

Q: Right. Are the grizzly bears roaming the Selkirks Canadian or American?

A: Most of them maintain dual citizenship. But you can spot the ones that are 100 percent Canadian because they go “Grrrrrrr, eh.” Ahahahahahaha.

Q: Yes. OK. I just want to tell you that I think “O Canada” is a wonderful anthem.

A: The true north, strong and free, baby. Thanks.

Q: Many of us down here think of Canadians as polite and mild-mannered. What’s with the obsession with hockey?

A: As a people, we have always had an emotional attachment to the concept of frontier justice. We’re not all “Anne of Green Gables.”

Q: What do BC residents think of Spokane?

A: Look, I’ll be frank with you. It’s no Vancouver. But there are a lot of friendly people down there. And some of them even realize that 99 percent of the Spokane Chiefs over the years have been good Canadian boys.

Q: So what about dumping all those horrible pollutants in the Columbia River and sending them down here?

A: Mistakes were made. But I needn’t point out that you hosers aren’t exactly pure when it comes to protecting the environment.

Q: What can Canadians teach Americans about living in a multicultural society?

A: It’s important to celebrate differences, not fear them.

Q: Why has the Loonie been so strong?

A: I think it has something to do with your economy going crackerdog.

Q: Speaking of finances, do you think Canadian currency is more attractive than American money?

A: Is there anyone who doesn’t?

Q: So the NBA bailed on Vancouver a few years ago. What would you say to basketball fans in Seattle facing a similar scenario?

A: I’d say “You’ll live.”

Q: It’s said that Canada lives in the shadow of its neighbor to the south. And it could be argued that down here our part of the Northwest always takes a back seat to the West Side. Any advice?

A: I think a great Canadian poet said it best: “Don’t let it bring you down.”

•Today’s Slice question: What if you were in charge of naming local disasters for the Spokane media?