Hide The Valuables

Too bad this area isn’t a Spring Break mecca.

It would be highly entertaining to watch residents get outraged about a million college students’ various assaults on tranquility and order.

Gender studies: A Spokane woman who recently returned to work after having been away following surgery was talking with a couple of men at her office.

The three are friends.

One of the men asked her if she had to do any physical rehabilitation or therapy following her procedure.

She paused for a moment before answering. Then she reported that the operation she had undergone had been a hysterectomy.

“I know,” said the man.

So the woman explained that, no, she wasn’t doing any physical rehabilitation.

But that unlikely exchange tickled the other man who was present. And now, when he sees the woman in the hall, he sometimes says, “How’s that rehab coming along?”

If Spokane had its own supermarket tabloid, here are a few headlines we might see: “Hepatitis Blamed on Space Aliens’ Probing.”

“Twins Hypnotized by ‘United Furniture Warehouse’ Jingle.”

“Visiting Montanans Vanish in Hoopfest Porta-Potties.”

“Spokane Shocker: Blind Date Goes Well.”

A partial list of the things Harriot Hagedorn’s dog Sassie brought home: packaged rose bush, snake (2 feet long), head of a mule deer, front leg of a cow, stocking cap, one pair of men’s briefs, one running shoe.

“We kept waiting for her to bring home the rest of the jogger,” wrote Hagedorn.

Small world: “My best friend of over 20 years, Cindy, and I gave birth to our soon to be 12-year-old sons, on April 2 and 3, close to 24 hours apart,” wrote Kitty Rowse. “Then, through no request of our own, we found ourselves in side-by-side rooms at Sacred Heart.

“Our boys, Jared and Danny, have grown to be best friends, too.”

Warm-up questions: What’s the difference between ‘60s-style skateboards and ‘90s models? What percentage of those buying tickets to “A Prairie Home Companion” would admit that their interest in that radio show actually peaked 10 years ago?

Today’s Slice question: If the Inland Northwest’s big lakes had a collective name you know, like “Great Lakes” or New York’s “Finger Lakes” what would it be?

a.) Really Good Lakes.

b.) Swell Lakes.

c.) The Lakes.

d.) other. , DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Color Photo

MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Twilight offers some of downtown Spokane’s best colors and moods.