The Slice God Helps Those Who Are Tuned In

A reader told us about a Spokane church where parents with fussy children can repair to a special room where the services are shown on TV.

Channel-changing is discouraged.

Things Lewis and Clark would like about the modern Northwest: “Their paved trail.” - Diann Hiatt

“Absolutely nothing.” - Tom Madison

“Lewis and Clark High School.” - Dana Kean

A beach party filmed at a local lake could be called: “Bare at Bear Lake.” - Jay Berryhill

Who has to kiss the most backsides to keep his or her job: “Wives.” - Louella Toya

How to learn about America’s multicultural reality: Go on a Little League road trip.

A friend told us about how one of his sons recently got clued in about kosher dietary laws and other aspects of being Jewish from a teammate.

Thanks for nothing: Spokane’s Jack Weldon Birchill and his wife were driving in Taos, N.M. They were lost. He got out and spotted someone who appeared to be a local resident. Then he asked for directions.

“We’re at Comfort Suites on Pueblo del Sur,” Birchill explained. “Do you know where that is?”

“Oh, yeah, I know where that is, but I forgot,” the man replied before continuing on his way.

Anyway, the experience gave Birchill an idea. “Couldn’t The Slice garner more ludicrous answers to reasonable questions?” he wondered. “There must be many more out there.”

Regarding Inland Northwest boat captains and their authorization to marry people: Vance Rauer cleared it up. He explained that captains of even small vessels are empowered to perform wedding ceremonies resulting in marriages that last “for the duration of the voyage.”

The difference between people with basements and people without basements: “People with basements can have more junk.” - J.B. Sing

Warm-up questions: What’s the quickest way to get to I-90 from the North Division “Y”? Have you ever suspected that the person asking you out regards you as a trophy date? What’s the key difference between common sense and lunkheaded populism? Were you baffled the first time you heard a reference to the mysterious dangers of “petting”?

Today’s Slice question: What is the Spokane area’s most reliable nontraditional economic indicator?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. We still miss “Calvin & Hobbes.”