‘Blokes You Can Trust’ To Be Loud, Disorderly Are Cosmic Psychos

Now that the Big Dipper is up for sale and will probably close in December, what better way to end an era and bring the house down than with a rock ‘n’ roll extravaganza.

Three great punk bands- Melbourne, Australia’s Cosmic Psychos and L.A.’s Lazy Cowgirls and Spokane’s Fumes- will give the Big Dipper a proper, if irreverent, send-off, on Wednesday.

If you’ve been waiting for a decent rock show to warm you up this November, this would be the one.

When Cosmic Psychos, born during the mid-‘80s, isn’t being chased out of the land Down Under, the band spends much of its time on international roads.

The three psychos - bassist-vocalist Slapper Jackson, drummer-vocalist Billy Arschloch and guitarist Fess Parker - are sort of legends, not just because of their music, but also because of their drunk and disorderly conduct. They’re known at pubs throughout the world.

Commonly referred to as “blokes you can trust,” Jackson, Arschloch and Parker stumble through life in a drunken stupor. Their daily routine begins and ends in a crusty, musty, smoky pub.

Need proof?

The title of the Cosmic Psychos’ new album, “Self Totalled,” should be an immediate indication. There’s more. One of the songs is called “The Man Who Drank Too Much” and the band starts its thank-you list with “To these people who we’ve shared a beer with.”

Plus, the band plays much the way it lives: Bottoms up; here’s to today.

The trio’s outrageous and appalling demeanor is fully contained on “Self-Totalled.” Like a disoriented drunk, Cosmic Psychos sways between irrational belligerence and sauced-up wit.

Like thick, viscuous stout, Cosmic Psychos brews its three-chord (that way the band won’t have difficulty remembering songs while sloshed) riff-raff with dense, muscular guitar work, a super-fuzzy bass and obliterating drums.

Over the years the band has let loose a string of definitive Cosmic Psychos recordings such as “Go The Hack,” “Blokes You Can Trust” and “Palamino Pizza.”

The Lazy Cowgirls, which plays the middle slot, has been an important name in punk for a long time. Just like the Cosmic Psychos, the Lazy Cowgirls doesn’t have the name recognition as mainstream bands, but this group has been delivering stellar, working-class rock for more than a decade.

Its latest album, “Ragged Souls,” is available on the upstart independent label Crypt.

Opener the Fumes has played with both bands in the last couple of years.

During the quartet’s set, fans can expect to hear an army of new songs, most of which will be included on the band’s long overdue sophomore album, which is slated for release in February.

Music starts at 9:30 p.m. The cover is $5. Bring ID.

Elsewhere in the Night

The Makers rumbles tonight at the German-American Society’s Deutsches Haus, 25 W. Third.

The all-ages extravaganza, also featuring Boycott and the Let-Gos, serves as a record release party for the band’s two new releases, the “Music To Suffer By” 7-inch on Estrus Records and the “Shout On” double 7-inch on Sympathy for the Record Industry.

The first 20 people to say, “The Makers stink!” at the door will receive a copy of the two-song “Bust Out” 7-inch, released earlier this year. Doors open at 8 p.m. Admission is $4. Park under the freeway.

Shoveljerk plays the Big Dipper on Saturday. The band’s debut album will land in stores in February. That’s only three short months away. Until then, you’ll have to hear the new songs live.

The list of opening bands was not available at press time.

Show’s at 9:30 p.m. The cover’s $5.